A trip to the sunny side

This weekend was going to be my 10th marathon, a lovely trip to Limassol - they keep telling me it’s fast and flat, oh and sunny! Which is great. Except it won’t be my 10th marathon. It will still be flat and I hope it will still be sunny, but for the second time in a year I’ve dropped down to half marathon distance. I suppose it’s better than it becoming my 3rd DNS or even my first ever DNF. But I still feel disappointed. Mostly in myself. 

 

Everyone says ‘it’s the right thing to do’ or ‘well done for recognising it’ - but actually if I could have motivated myself to just do a few more training runs then I wouldn’t have found myself here. It was all starting to look good. January and February I was running, Ashford 10k became the first run I did without any walking and then, well then I don’t know what happened. I just stopped again. Technically I was still doing my long runs and if I’d completed my 20 miler in Thanet then I suspect I’d be flying off to Cyprus to run a marathon. But the race was cancelled due to snow, so I lost the enforced test of race conditions and 20 miles. Either way it would have told me if I was marathon ready. But now I’ve just sort of opted out, without really knowing if it was the right thing to do. 

Listen to my head is how I’ve put it. Well that’s actually quite a dangerous thing as frankly lately my head tells me a whole load of crap. Recognising what is actually worth listening to is a skill I’m not exactly mastering. We don’t like to disappoint ourselves and I don’t like to disappoint others. I know, I know - I’m not disappointing anyone, but hell I’ve been going on and on about this bloody race so it feels like somehow I am. Like the judges of social media will bang their invisible gavel and declare me guilty of over reacting, under performing and generally being an arse.....

See I told you I shouldn’t listen to my head! 

The good news is I have lots of races still to come, I’m determined to actually run Salisbury Marathon this year (the first race I dropped out of last year) and Loch Ness in September, oh and the little matter of 52 miles worth of Race to the Tower in June. If I keep telling myself all of that means it’s okay to just kick back, fly to Cyprus, drink cocktails and still run 13.2 miles (without any more than run one per week in months) and actually not only is that okay, it’s amazing. If I keep telling myself that....

I don’t want to find myself quoting Ronan Keating, as then I’ll know I’ve seriously hit rock bottom - yet life IS a rollercoaster. I no longer want to get off, but at times I feel quite a bit sick and I’ve never been a fan of rollercoasters. Turning upside down sucks. I like to stay steady and know where I’m going. I like it’s a small world - annoying song and all. There would have been quite a thrill trying to see if I could run the marathon on Sunday, instead I’m in going to float round the course in my little boat waving at small people. 

Then maybe once all this is over and I come back and start actually training I can go back to writing blogs which make sense....I’ll take bets on that if you like 😉 

This time it's personal!

Just over three weeks until Paris marathon - under French law you need a medical certificate to run in races. So off I toddled to my GP having paid my £20 I needed a brief exam and his signature and stamp. I was far from worried as this would be my 6th marathon and look I'm not 18 stone any more but the fittest I've ever been in my life! My doctor agreed as my blood pressure was normal, my resting heart rate was low (he said a sign I'm fit). One last check of my lungs and listening to my heart - ended with him saying "oh you have a slight murmur?", "yes that's right, since I was a baby, it's on my records". 

I was born with a heart condition, I remember being tested and treated. Trips to doctors and hospitals, tiredness, being able to sit out of games at school. Ultrasounds when I was a teenager and endless ECGs, blood tests and generally being told it was as regular a murmur you can get and there was little to worry about. Well until 30 years later and I needed a medical certificate signing! As it was my GP signed my certificate but insisted I have some tests just to check nothing had changed. Personally I felt a little that this wasn't necessary but anything to ensure I could not only run Paris but not have to worry about running at all! 

It's funny to be confronted with the real possibility someone may tell you that you shouldn't be running. Of course no one can tell you that you can't run - it could only ever be advisory - but still it would be strong advice and hard to ignore. That said I was pretty clear I would ignore it. Absolutely. What would I do with out running? Get fat again? Take up something else - god I hate swimming! It just doesn't bear thinking about. Besides I've got 21 miles to run before I even think about these tests! 

What a great run it was - a typical Sunday Selfie Runner speed of chat, goat stops, tea stops and cake. I don't mind how long it take me I just enjoy the journey. So over 5 hours of leisurely stop start running. Oh and 36 photos uploaded to Strava - whoops i got over excited !

The good news is I've had my ECG and nope it wasn't normal. But it was normal for me and showed no sign of any major problems so my GP is happy with it. One more scan just to check me out but all seems fine. No one is going to stop me gradually getting slower and slower! Well okay not quite - but no one is going to stop me running. Even better I'm in good condition - as I said as fit as I've ever been. From being a "sickly" child I'm a fit, marathon running adult. I may not ever get any faster. Maybe I'll remember to be careful (it's why I always run with a chest based HRM) and also fill my race bib out on the back! 

It's been an unexpected chance to reflect on where I've come from, where I'm going and how amazing it is I run marathons for fun! Paris and London in two weeks is a challenge I'm excited about - but one I know I can make (after all not my first double marathon challenge) and one I know I'll enjoy. What's not to love about London? Even better I'm running for a charity I care about and am their only runner! Yes that brings pressure as I want to raise as much money as I can but also I know they're happy with whatever I make them and the publicity. 

So just three weeks and I'll have completed marathon number six. It is likely to be my one and only French race as who knows what a future Doctor will decide over my murmur. Which means I'll make the most of it. Soak in every moment. Perhaps take a few selfies? It's the only way I know how to run nowadays but perhaps more than ever this marathon now represents what running has become for me. How much it's changed my life. How much it brings to my life. This time it's very much personal!

Thank you :
A huge thank you to everyone who bought tickets in my raffle and most of all to those who donated prizes. They were all very personal to me - things I love on my runs like Buttercups Goat Sanctuary, Little Fant Farm and things I love running with like Flipbelts, egloves, Energy Snacks and Scimitar shirts. The running community which has meant so much to me Run Mummy Run and UKRunChat and all those wonderful things to do post run - foam roller, drink wine, eat Freddos or Krispy Kremes! And of course peanut butter..... 

Your Pace or Mine?

Get a grip Jo! Seriously what are you doing - it's just a run round the block. Stop having a breakdown. I mean what could it be - shoes, end of day tiredness, fact haven't eaten since lunch, the giant hill you just tried to run up? Or are you genuinely now no longer able to run? 

I mean come on you've got two marathons in 10 weeks time and this time last year you were bashing out times. Clearly you've let yourself go....and look that bloody running group you created is FULL of people who are doing amazing things. Running fast, far and having loads more fun than you. They're confident and happy in their running world when all you want to do is sit in the corner and rock, cry or worse. 

But you have been here before. You've written loads of blogs on the subject and know you can do this. Right? I mean just because you can't run further than 5k without walking doesn't matter. Right? After all who is judging you? Who is here right now telling you this is a disaster? Is anyone waiting to study your Strava time and see if you're trending faster? Nobody. Not one person you know. Oh wait - yes that's you! You are judging yourself. Against everyone and anyone and most especially against yourself....stop it. 

I mean this isn't why you started running is it? This isn't what got you down to SRC, becoming an avid parkrunner and seeking out all those online communities - UKrunchat, Run Mummy Run, BOSH? You wanted to get fit and have fun. You didn't even know what a race was - but you've done loads. And this year is about the longer goal - Paris, London, Dorchester, Beachy with a smile on your face. Every weekend you put a shirt on that says "running at the speed of chat" - it was a badge of pride once. Not something to feel guilty about. 

It's brilliant that we're all different and if your goals are different - if seeking PBs isn't as important as just surviving a run then that's okay. It doesn't make you worse than anyone. It shouldn't make you feel bad. Stop feeling bad! I mean Yoda has a lot to answer for. "Do or do not. There is no try." Well come on that was said to Luke as he didn't believe in himself. But you do. You know what's important. It's okay to try and keep trying. Sometimes you won't make it. But sometimes you will. After all what message do you want beginners to get - what message are we giving to all those new parkrunners or community members - get out and run. No matter what. No matter how fast. How "slow". How far or how short. Enjoy it and if you want to shoot further then do it. But it doesn't have to be everything. All of the time. Only if you want it to be. And never, ever ever feel bad if that's not for you! 

Okay. It's all downhill from here so you can get home. You can do this. You can't post a pithy Strava title that hides the pain that you've been through on this run. You can take a selfie. Smile and think that 10k you've got in a week will be okay. If you walk. So what? Smile. Laugh. Get round. Then get round the next. And the next. And the next. Apparently this will still get you to the finish in Paris and London. Cause in the end you're a happy little jogger - not a professional runner so the smile at the beginning, middle and end is all that really matters! 

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/JoFrazerWise

I do it my way!

Sometimes it's easy to forget I haven't really been running very long - it will be 3 years this summer. In that time I'm on to what is only my 4th formal training plan (stuck to the fridge) but what makes this one so different is I've been determined to learn from past mistakes. So far, so good it seems with Brighton marathon looming just 2 months away. I've been clear all along what my goal is for Brighton this year - get round enjoying every step. No time pressure. No going to beat last years time. No seeing how I feel on the day. This will be the last time I run Brighton marathon and I want to bury the demons I found in myself last year. I want to finish running and smiling.

Which means back to those lessons from last year:

1. Don't over train

2. Rest is important 

3. Run for fun 

The impact of these lessons has made a huge difference to my training and running since this plan started in earnest this year. Lesson one - it's all about thinking carefully how far I need to run to be marathon ready and the pace I'm running at. With back to back marathons last year I thought it important to run two 20 mile races. Plus I had no idea what running 26.2 would be like. This year I'm lucky. I know what it's like and I know I've managed it twice. So now it's about making the training count. Building up to one 20 mile long run and giving myself a decent taper so I'm fit but not tired. The Selfie Sundays are a fabulous motivator and last year training and running together is what got me to the start line at Brighton. But it's also what made me struggle to the finish. Pace is everything in marathon running and training. It doesn't matter what you read they all say the same thing - do your long runs 10% (or more) off planned race pace. If you analyse most of my LSRs last year they were all on or faster than my actual race pace on the day. Significantly so - which means none of them were slower!

Add to that lesson two and I look back and think I was tired at Brighton. Yes there were other things I should and could have done differently. But I didn't give myself a good start. So now I'm taking the time to cut back on long runs. Rest during the week. Use a recovery run as a recovery run. Maximise other training sessions such as hills. Oh and book in regular sports massages. I've pretty much given up on my foam roller (she is like a woman scorned) and don't tell anyone but I've never really been one for stretching. I've tried to stick to it and used apps recommended but ultimately. I run. I stretch a little. But I read if in the end stretching doesn't work for you don't worry, as there is equal evidence that says it does you harm or good!
 

Then there are the Seflies - the most amazing, wonderful group of runners and friends I could wish for. I've been so lucky that with them I can combine all my lessons. But this year I've had to make some changes and become more selfish. Particularly on the pace issue - I want slow steady Sunday runs. To help this we've all been able to find our niche and gravitate towards those who want the same things. Which means the Selfies have split into different time slots and groups - which is what has made the group work so well over all this time. It's not a running club. It's simply a place folk can find friends to run with - oh and ideally take a few selfies and have a few laughs along the way. 

Which is of course lesson three - running is my hobby. It keeps me fit. Makes me feel good. Gets me out of the house so the wife can watch Netflix. Even races are part of this - we line up at the start and take selfies. Sometimes we take selfies on route. But I always run with a smile and a jazz hand not far away. Enjoying it is paramount for me. Of course I get enjoyment from a great run - this year the lessons from last year have paid dividends. During a two week cut back period I ran a pleasing 56 minute 10k chatting with Jules all the way round and then last week, knowing I was feeling good, I went for my half marathon personal best. I got it - by nearly 5 minutes and finally broke 2 hours finishing in 1:58:36. 

I even seem to have got my eating under control - shedding a stone since Christmas and hopefully lining up for Brighton trim, rested and happy. Which doesn't mean I'll forget my goal and go for it. I won't. But that doesn't mean I won't have a different goal for Berlin in September. After all if I've learnt all the lessons from last year there should be a few more to stand me in good stead! 

A right Royal year!

First things first - there was no sub-2 at Royal Parks. Nor was there a personal best. I did beat last years time and completed it in a very pleasing 2:04:16. My second fastest half marathon time in what was my 10th half since I ran my first at Royal Parks last year.

These statistics though (once again) don't sum up what happened today. Royal Parks is an epic event. Running through closed central London streets and through 3 of London's Royal Parks (Hyde, St James and Green) with 16000 other runners. In some places crowds several deep and noise that makes your heart pound and your step quicken.

Last year I arrived to meet with people who were mostly virtual strangers. Now so many of those people have become real friends and here we were a year on. Plus I was bringing with me a giant band of Sunday Selfies as well as the very brave Serena who would run her first ever half marathon! Old friends mixed with new friends and we took selfies. Laughed, cried and at the end celebrated with a few drinks in the pub!

Everyone takes something different from a race. Sometimes it's the time and getting that PB or personal time goal. Sometimes it's just mastering a distance. For me today it was about friendship. Most importantly laying to rest the ghost of Jules and I starting races together and never quite finishing them that way. Often the challenge becomes too great for one of us so we wave farewell to the other (often not far from the end). But today as the sun shone and the paths in the park twisted and turned us with masses of people making it hard to find a pace and rhythm we were certain of one thing. No one was leaving anyone!! So much so that we spent the final 3 miles telling each other "you aren't leaving!!"

So that special moment as we crossed the line hand in hand and with the exact same time was very special indeed. Then to watch Danny and Jim of the Selfies finish. Catch up with friends all over the park and gather to cheer runners home and see Serena storm in without stopping once in her first 13.1 miles just made the day complete.

To be honest I think unlikely I'll run Royal Parks again. The congestion and winding paths make it a brutal race. The spectacle I think is worth experiencing but twice is probably enough for me. I still dream of reaching the mythic sub 2 hour mark. Though today felt hard enough to reach 2:04 so not sure how realistic that is?

But one year on from my first ever half I will feel proud that today I finished my 10th. I've also run two marathons. Two 20 milers. Two 10 milers and several other races of varying shorter distances in this same year. What's more amazing is that I now have friends from all around the UK who share this crazy love of running - as well as putting up with all those bloody selfies! Why do I run? Why has this last two years seen my life become about early mornings, pounding streets and trails and pushing my body and mind to its limits? Well I think the bigger question is why not?

All change...

Well, this blog was going to be titled "I still believe in me" - referencing the Kids from Fame song. After a tough few weeks in my non-running life I was going to talk about my last long training run on my own, before Royal Parks. After weeks of long runs with friends, feeling good - all running together across the North Downs. Stopping for selfies, flower picking, recovery disguised as chatting - all making the fact I had run over 13 miles for the first time much easier. 


So on Sunday as I returned to my favourite solo route along the river, just the cows and walkers for company I felt great. I had my old running play list running through my head (a fabulous mix of 80s movie music) - no longer on headphones but ringing in my ears just the same. Wow, just how far have I come! New shoes already have 40k in them, no more gel mishaps and last week of my first ever training plan nearly complete. 

Everything is in place for Royal Parks Half Marathon. My first ever race over 13.1 miles. Feeling good. Feeling great. Who knew it would get even better? 

You see back in April I did something a little rash - without telling anyone (not even my partner) I entered the 2015 London Marathon ballot. The chances of being successful are so slim I figured may as well see what happens. With Brighton Marathon just two weeks before if a miracle should happen I'll just defer London and know that in 2016 I'll have a place. Well a miracle has happened. First time in the ballot. First time lucky. Two weeks after Brighton I'm supposed to run in London. 

Supposed to - oh go on, you know me by now. I'm SO going to run in London. After all reaching the 26 April and watching everyone set off without me - no chance. Besides with Brighton safely in the bag the pressure is off, I can enjoy myself. Think of it as a long run with friends, feeling good, stopping for selfies,  picking flowers even? Why not, what have I got to lose? 

On this crazy journey of mine - everything suddenly seems possible!



If you've read my blog and fancy offering support to my chosen Royal Parks charity Amnesty International please use the link at the top of the page or text JOFW99 £2 to 70070. 

I love it when a plan comes together...

Woohoo I'm back! Where have you been I hear you cry? Well I had my hiatus, I then had my holiday and now I have my mojo. 

What have I learnt since the last time I blogged? 

First don't do a trail race and select to start it at 12 noon. Blimey that was tough at Bedgebury! 

Second, cool as it is to run around Brands Hatch race track it's a pig of a course. Not one bit of it is flat. 

Third, running on holiday is actually really good fun and makes you feel much less guilty about all the food and drink your consuming.

Four, EVERYONE must read Running Like a Girl by Alexandra Heminsley - I don't really do reading anymore, I have a very low boredom threshold and books get started and never finished. I never find the time to pick them up. Even on holiday there is always something else I could be doing. Not this book. started and finished within two days. Made me laugh and cry. But most of all inspired me. Which takes me back to point three. 

Seriously, run on holiday. Most of my runs were fairly short, it was too hot to go far. But on the last day of my holiday, the clouds came over, the pool felt chilly so I thought go for a run. No worrying about time, or distance. I just ran, over one hill, on down to that beach. Stopped for some photos, did aeroplane arms, ran along by the seafront. I felt alive, happy and liberated. 

Arriving home I was inspired and motivated. With 14 weeks until my October Half Marathon at Royal Parks I knew I needed a plan. So out came the running books, the magazines and the internet and after a few days I had designed myself a 12 week training plan. In a moment of panic I realised the worst thing would be to get to the start line and have got it wrong. So thanks to the wonder of Twitter and the magnificent @MattversusMatt I got some hints and tips to refine it and make sure I wasn't get things wrong. 

And now I'm following my plan. And yes I'm following the plan - in fact I love the plan. It is all about the plan. I may get a T-shirt saying "I have a plan". What's even better is the plan is working. I can feel myself getting stronger. I didn't know that running up hills or doing some fartlek would make such a difference, but it does. I'm starting to feel like a runner. 

and pause...

Although I said my blog would be all about the ups and downs, of course I hoped (and believed) it would all be up, up up! Especially once I hit the medal trail, started running longer distances - this blog was going to take me and you all the way to Brighton 2015 without a hiccup. 

No hiccup - just one giant, long, slow BURP!

May was all going so well, ran nearly 12 miles, took part in Larkfield 10k and smashed my personal best and then - well I stopped. I've had to stop before in my short running career - nasty shin splints (I am now a shin splint expert, ask me sometime for my exercise regime) meant I couldn't run for about 3 weeks. 

Something about injury enforced breaks feels easier than what I've just gone through. I've not been injured (although I did have a bad cold for a week) - it's just been life. That chaotic, topsy turvy, uncontrollable, sometimes great, sometimes crap, always fluid and unavoidable thing we all deal with day after day.

I'm not about to go in to detail about my life for the last month, but because of various factors (one being a week that included being on 6 planes across 4 countries) I have achieved 3 runs in 4 weeks. And 2 of those were just last week! 

My running buddy Glyn has said to me today "routine is the key" - of course he's right, but what do you do when you can't fit a routine in? How do you cope with crisis, the unexpected and downright inconvenient? I've learnt that I don't cope well. And when I don't cope well I also eat. 

So of course combined with not running I've been slowly slipping back down a slope of eating chocolate, cake, sweets, fatty foods, ANY FOOD and as this month hasn't been all doom and gloom so too the odd alcoholic drink or two or four or ten! 

Tomorrow is another day and I am now back running - I've done 2 runs this week, and will have my first Friday Sweatshop in a month and most exciting this Saturday have my first ever trail race a 10k through Bedgebury Pinetum. Another medal surely will make me feel better and inspire me to get back to my routine?

I guess I have to review why I stopped running, why I slipped back in to such easy eating habits (lets face it the healthy eating is the hard stuff). I'm not really very good at self-reflection or even self-learning.  But I need to find a way of recognising the signs when life may get in the way, get some strategies for fitting in small runs, baby targets and the odd salad now and then. 

I could just hope this never happens again, yet somehow I think it will after all life is full of burps and farts and runny poo!

Let the training commence!

I wanted to blog last weekend but life got in the way, which means I've had two weeks of mixed fortunes but ultimately ending on a high. 

Week One
Monday 28 April Sweatshop Community Run turned out to be a crucial day in my preparation for Brighton Marathon 2015. First I met a running legend - Wendy Sly who won silver in the women's 3000 meters in LA 1984. It was the race made famous by Zola Budd and Mary Decker. Wendy was lovely and shared running stories as well as letting a bunch of sweaty, post 5k runners manhandle her medal. 

But it was who she was with that made the biggest impact that night - I met my first running coach (in the flesh, there are loads of you on Twitter) from RunFit a local outfit that provide advice, courses and general good stuff to runners across Kent and elsewhere. I was chatting about my running and that I had entered Brighton (did I mention yet I'm running a marathon?!) and he said quite simply "start training now". Clearly I looked slightly bemused and he explained that most people leave it till the usual 18 week plan but that actually if I just start increasing my miles from now to 12/15 in my long run then it will make all the difference. He went on to say that then all I'd need to do is work on my speed (ha ha how I laughed at that) but his words stuck in my mind. Don't leave it too late, it will be harder in winter and post-Christmas so get the miles going now. 

So, last Sunday with Ian's words ringing in my ears I set about my long run along the tow path. I had a target in mind - I wanted to run 10 miles again (something I hadn't done since my first 10 mile race on Good Friday). I wasn't worried about time and I had my new water bottle belt to make sure I didn't let thirst get between me and the distance. I even had tissue, to either wipe the SIS gel from my face or use for any emergency stops. 

This time I didn't get the weather wrong and wore the right clothing, had my headphones as fancied music and was going without my Garmin as it was still at the UPS office having been thrown across the kitchen by my wife and sent away for repair. 

All that led to a pretty epic run - everything worked a treat, I even paused to do my first ever UKrunchat moment (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I3JhlDvWMQ) and I didn't get thrown when my Nike+ app had a complete mental breakdown and stopped working. (The kind of thing that would have thrown me completely a few weeks ago). But more importantly I just kept running. The legs felt strong, I felt wonderful and although it wasn't fast I smashed out 11 miles in 1hr 48 minutes. Best thing was I felt like I could have run on and my Royal Parks Half in October holds little fear. What a way to end the week and start my road to Brighton....

Week Two
After such an epic week I had wonderful words of advice for my blog all prepared, I was a week away from my next race and it was a bank holiday weekend. Life was great. Running life was better. Then on Monday I felt absolutely awful, sick to my stomach - was it the long run or was it something else? Who knows, but it signalled the start to a week I'd rather forget. 

Long working hours, high stress, intense food and chocolate consumption and dare I say terrible PMT (sorry anyone who likes poo blogs but not period blogs!) So as soon as my high hit I was in a real running slump. I did get my Garmin back like a long lost friend but I didn't run all week, no SRC - nothing to give me my mojo back. Till Friday when I realised that the 9 May was exactly one year since I'd ventured outside to run for the very first time! 

I remember it so clearly, I'd run on the treadmill at the gym a few times and people had started to say "try outside it's so different". So at 6.06am I set off on my normal morning walk around the park with a plan to run in the middle. I had my old walking app going and when I got to the part of the park that is fairly flat off I set. I did a 2.18 mile route in 30:09. So in celebration on Friday I got up early for a change, put my running gear on and this time ran from my front door as I always do now. Same route with happy memories of my burning lungs, the struggle up the small hills, the fact I carried a water bottle back then. I did the 2.18 mile route in 19:28 with my fastest ever kilometre and mile at the beginning! Woohoo I was back!

And to today - the latest race in my desire to collect medals (if only someone had told me this happened I'd have started running years ago) - Larkfield 10k. Not the best prep as I had an unfortunate incident with a red-hot-straight-out-the-oven mini-sausage roll yesterday afternoon which has left me slightly scarred but I figured I'd set off and see how I felt. 

Fact is turns out I felt GREAT! Running without my Garmin for a couple of weeks has helped my pacing but with her back on my wrist and with the knowledge that if I stuck on Tim Carr's heals I'd set a good time (thanks Tim).  The fact at 5k I was still with him and had run it in 28 minutes and felt good I knew that beating my personal best of 56:06 was on. As the finish came in sight and I saw the clock ticking through 56:02, 03, I started to panic - set off my now obligatory sprint finish - crossed the line with a look of huge disappointment (won't be posting those photos) and then remembered GUN TIME! Finish time on my chip 55:48 - I'm in the 55s?!!!

Which all adds up to a few simple lessons:
Whether I like it or not I'm now officially training for a marathon. 
There are good weeks and bad weeks. 
The bad weeks really aren't that bad. 
I'm never going to be able to give up chocolate!

Oh and best news of all - seems my wife is picking up the running bug and knocking parkrun PBs off to boot! 

Things I've learnt this weekend...

London Marathon weekend is always a special one, I've watched the race a couple of times in person and pretty regularly on the TV. But I've never watched it before as a runner. And a runner surrounded by other runners. But that's not where my learning this weekend started, I need to go back to Friday night. 

Friday night is Sweatshop Running Community 10k night and this Friday it was my turn to bring cake. I'd stayed up late on Thursday frantically watching the oven hoping my peanut butter cookies would come out okay, but safely knowing the rocky road in the fridge would prevent a disaster if they didn't. As it was they all turned out well and I'm reliably informed tasted great. 

But Friday didn't teach me I can cook - no, it reminded me of what I never expected to discover when I first went to SRC - a community. This Friday my usual running buddy was injured so I ran mostly on my own, it didn't matter and I still got to within 5 seconds of my 10k personal best. I was cheered as I finished and that wasn't just because they were all eating my offerings. The support you get from being part of something like SRC is amazing. We compare times, we talk about how it felt to run and we laugh - a lot. When I first went I thought I'd turn up run and go home. Now when I run 5k the runs are shorter in length than the time spent chatting at the end! 

The same is also true of parkrun - I resisted joining the parkrun movement for sometime. Saturday's were gym day. I had no time for this 5k run, thinking it was competitive, serious and super scary. As I'm learning I've got this running thing all wrong as it is none of those things. And yesterday was Maidstone Parkrun's 1st birthday and a fancy dress run. What made it super special was my wife decided to run as well and for the first time was happy for me to run with her. So I took a gentle run along the riverbank, tweeting and taking photos as I went dressed in a jesters hat (NOT an ice-cream hat....more of that in a future blog!). I didn't get a personal best (that stays at 27:03) - what I got was a reminder that running is about different experiences and what you want to make of it. One run can be about times, or distance or personal bests and this is important and fun but equally the runs about friendship, support and having a laugh can give as much in return. 

So today - Sunday 13 April 2014, London marathon day - but also a calendar year until the 9am start of Brighton Marathon 2015. I've got a 10 mile race on Good Friday and knew I needed one last longish run (for me!) to give me confidence. So as the BBC coverage started with that amazing music I was pulling on my running gear. Certainly something that has never happened before. I managed an 8 mile run along the river bank, felt good and am sure race day will be okay. Bit scared of that unknown 2 miles but I'm sure the fact I'm racing and a medal waits at the end will spur me on. 

As I was running today though I learnt some pretty important things - the first was when attempting to take a sports gel for the first time do not open it with your teeth. I have very weak hands (can't even get tampon wrappers off easily) and the bloody thing wouldn't open. So aha, use my teeth thought I? Quite glad no one was around to see said pack jet squirt into my eye and all down my face. Damn that stuff is sticky! But I learnt I can laugh and run pretty well!!

And I LOVED my run today - I know I've got a long way to go to be ready for my October Half, never mind Brighton in a year. But I feel ready. I feel strong. I feel fit. I've never felt fit. I used to feel fat, tired, unhappy. But today as I ran I thought how far I've come and how great running makes you feel. It hurts (a lot) but when it's going well it just feels great. And then I get to share that feeling with others who can relate and don't think you're crazy - be they SRC'rs, parkrunners or UKRunChat Tweeters! 

So as I watched the highlights of the London Marathon for the first time I realistically thought - "I could do that", then realised "I will do that!" - but best practise opening those gels a bit more first....

The day it all changed...

Well I think that's today and what a day it's been! Who knew that the 8 April 2014 would become one of those days I may never forget?

After all I've had some pretty big days in my life, the day I left for university, the day I graduated, the day I got my first "proper" job, the day I met my future wife and the date of our civil partnership, the day I got Cagney and Lacey my cats, the day I realised I needed to lose weight and the day I hit losing 7 stone. 

Oh and there is 9 May 2013 - the day I first ever ran outside (unless you count school), it was 6.08am as I was terrified someone may see me. I'd run on a treadmill but everyone had said "do it outside, it's so different and so much better". Was it? Not really. I was convinced I would die as the air burned into my lungs. But I didn't let that stop me and just a few days I later I had another big day, turning 40 and my wife gave me a fabulous Garmin watch so running outside now had a gadget to entice me. 

By September I had discovered the Sweatshop Running Community, joining my local Maidstone group and getting that all important Yellow Army t-shirt. And by November I was finally convinced that a parkrun instead of the Saturday morning trip to the gym would be a good thing. (I no longer have my gym membership - not needed!)

A big day in December as I ran my first race - 5 miles in the Kent Christmas Cracker, I've done a 10k now and am entered in to several more - including a terrifying Royal Parks Half in October. 

Then in December, or was it January, not sure but it doesn't really matter I came across UKrunchat on Twitter. A fabulous, crazy, supportive, funny, fast and friendly running community. 

And those are the pieces of the jigsaw which has brought me right up to today and finding myself entered into the Brighton Marathon on 12 April 2015.

It's beyond anything I ever imagined being able to do or even contemplate doing. What I've learnt through running is there really is no such thing as never. Barriers I put up have been knocked down, preconceptions I had have been overturned and now I'm going to train for and run a marathon. 

So things have changed for me - I can't go back and share the journey to here, but I can and will share with you the journey to come!