Time to slow down....

I recently passed my 4 year runaversary. That's 4 years since I started running outside - a terrified 3k around Mote Park at 6.30am so no one would see me! Around 2 stone heavier than I am now but having lost 4 stone since I'd started dieting. What a running journey it's been. I've lost count of the half marathons I've run but I know I'm on 7 marathons and will reach 10 by the end of the year. No question I love to run! It keeps me sane. Keeps me thinner and has led me to people who are now some of my best friends and certainly my favourite people to run with!


Over the past 4 years I've also gathered some personal bests I'm quite proud of. You may not think I'm all that speedy but I've managed to hit some pretty good times. It's rare I've gone out to get a PB - but it has felt good when they've come - thing with trying to beat a time is you really have to start quick. You can't decide part way through (although once on a race Stefhan did manage this!!) as usually by then it's too late. Certainly my 5k parkrun PB I wanted. So too my half marathon - I was determined to come under 2 hours! And Brighton Marathon - well that was all about burying demons. Most of my PBs came when I was training for said marathon. Oh and nearly all are flat flat routes! So here they are - all my personal bests:

5k - 26:00 Maidstone parkrun
5 miles - 44:55 Kent Christmas Cracker
10k - 54:58 Abington
1/2 Marathon - 1:58:36 Headcorn
Marathon - 4:48:24 Brighton

Why am I sharing this now? Well it seems ages since I came close to a PB. All of those times are over a year old. Lately I just don't have it in me to bust a gut for a PB. But actually that's okay. I'm not exactly built for speed. Heck I'm not sure I'm built for running. They were fun to get but my focus and goal has changed. I've discovered that if i slow down I can keep going. For marathons my magic 7m/km keeps me comfortable with room to change if I need to. In London with Danny we ran at 8m/km due to injury and actually that was great too. At the end I felt I could have run on.

So I don't want to chase times any more. What I want is to chase distance. To see just what this body can do and have a new challenge. An ultra challenge. Why not - my favourite run of all time is still my birthday 28 miles last year. This means if I never beat those times again. It's okay. After all I haven't run under 30 minutes at parkrun since, well since I can't remember. Instead I'm going to continue to slow down, take it easy, carry on doing what I do best and see just how far it takes me....

Sometimes it's about more than running

Recently Susie Chan blogged about how it's okay to be okay. Coming from someone who is so very exceptional at what she does it was a relief to know everyone struggles sometimes. And actually we all have doubts. When so much of running and the running community is about time, distance, pace and most of all being the very best albeit your own personal best it was refreshing to be reminded that doesn't always matter. So many of my blogs talk about this issue. So many times I face a crisis of confidence in my running, reminiscent of the crisis I face every day in life to believe in myself. To believe the words others say to me. To be kind to myself. It's very easy to give out praise to others. To support achievements big and small. To help others realise even their smallest goals are important. It's hard to do that for myself.

There are times I think this doesn't really matter, but I've learned that 26.2 miles is pretty unforgiving. My first marathon taught me the slightest chink in your mental armour can cause a complete implosion. Entering Berlin it was clear I wasn't in the best of places, but I managed to have the best of times. Everything they say about Berlin is true - it's fast, it's flat and the atmosphere is amazing. There was a time when I was running early on with Fran that I thought I could put all my bad training behind me and go for that PB.
Perhaps you'll think I failed by making a conscious decision at that point to stick with my plan - not to overdo it. To take my time. Enjoy each moment. Take my selfies and what time I achieved didn't matter. I'll never know if I could have sustained my early pace just because I didn't try. But I didn't fail. I achieved everything I set out to do.

It was hard. Really hard. I've never sent texts whilst running before but I was communicating with Keeley and Jules. I knew if I could get 10k to go I'd be fine. But it was hard work. Marathons are - anyone who tells you they aren't look at very suspiciously. Crossing the finish at Berlin was the most emotional finish I'd had. Relief. Joy. Pride. Such a special place and a special feeling. 

But I can't just rest there. It wasn't enough to achieve in Berlin as back in January I'd entered Beachy Head marathon. One of those "must do" races everyone talks about. Running with Jules, focusing on eating sausage rolls and maximising enjoyment. I wasn't worried at all - this was going to be fun. I never thought about how hard it would be. The weeks between Berlin and Beachy weren't ideal - stress, comfort eating, fears and tears. Putting on more weight i realised I'd be running at a weight I've never run at before, certainly not marathon distance. But that's okay I can do that. My head was starting to clear and mentally I was feeling good for Beachy. Big crowd of us. Keeley coming to support. Sausage rolls. Did I mention they have sausage rolls on route?  

Beachy Head Marathon is everything everyone says it is - brutal, beautiful, great atmosphere, wonderful people, hills that go on forever. Running toward the back, taking our time we had a blast. I met some of the most amazing people I've yet met on a race. Members of the 100 marathon club including Lorraine doing her 137th marathon and she has cancer. A man running his 5th marathon in 5 days for his sons charity. So many people doing BH as their first marathon - including our new friend Jules (another!) who ran with us. Jonathan, Tracey, Ana, Boshers, marshals, Traviss and Rachel - legends amongst us and all sharing the same experience - the steps, the fog, the hills, the wall to climb over - oh and the sausage rolls, hot cross buns and soup at checkpoint 4! 

Then you reach that last 10k - it stretches out in front of you in a way I've never seen 10k before. It didn't look possible, the infamous Seven Sisters, but a simply stunning vista with crystal calm sea. We were still laughing as we started the relentless up and downs of this final stretch. I had 4 hours until the cut off and pointed out I could crawl it in that time - but the chink was there. I may have been joking but as the downhills were becoming more painful than the uphills I knew there was some truth in it. My Jules was still at my side. Some brief exchange about leaving each other but I knew she'd never go. We started and would finish this one together. Thank God as i knew i couldn't do it without her. Each step got harder and harder. I thought I would cry. I've never cried mid run before - if you can call what I was doing running. Reaching Birling Gap felt an eternity - but they had cake. And we were still taking selfies and having fun. I just wasn't sure what kind of fun it was. Finally when a marshal told us the truth - two more uphills then it would be all downhill to the finish I dug in, panic in my heart as to how long this would take me.  But finally stretching out for the downhill and running for the finish. Yes I was actually running! 

Those 6 miles are like nothing I've ever felt before. It was like a microcosm of the challenges life throws at you. Trying to hang on. Using everyone around you for support. Uphill, downhill, laughing, crying, frustration and delirious joy at meeting a coastguard with a mars bar! But I kept going. I wonder if Beachy had been two weeks ago would I have done? We'll never know. But I do know that the way I felt at the end of Beachy swept all other finishes into history. Beachy Head is such an emotional place anyway. A place where people come face to face with demons, challenges, fighting battles that sometimes they win and sadly many times they don't. That day I won my own battle - and once again was reminded that yes it was just a race, but sometimes it's about more than running! 

Rising to the challenge!

Whoops - seems I've let a bit of time go past since my last post. But funnily enough I'm still hanging out with Dames! Last weekend I completed my 100th parkrun and was lucky enough for Kelly Holmes to join the 400 runners at Maidstone. Taking selfies, high fiving runners and generally being the inspiration she is to everyone. It was amazing. Thank you to Kelly for helping make my 100th run even more special. The parkrun movement has given me so much. Not least a growing group of friends and the opportunity to give something back to the Maidstone community I live in. Whether it's running or volunteering I couldn't imagine Saturday mornings without parkrun - what's wonderful is to see my family and non-running friends get involved too. At Maidstone we are fortunate to have the full support of all Councils in holding our event, they've recognised the amazing breadth of community involvement in parkrun - young and old, helping people achieve goals small and large and, like for me, providing an opportunity to give back.

Of course we could run without the trappings of parkrun. We could turn up and run as a group of friends. But by running under the parkrun banner we join a global collective. A movement that says "you're welcome here" - no judgement, no pressure but look if you run with us we'll time you AND give you incentive to turn up each week. Including a free t shirt if you hit a milestone. Reaching 100 runs meant so much to me - as Adam said on Twitter one hundred times of not forgetting my barcode! 

My 100th parkrun came just 6 weeks after completing Brighton marathon. Sadly I think I've missed the inspiration to go into much detail about what happened in Brighton. Suffice to say I achieved all my goals but was nearly scuppered by a hideous cold. The weekend was once again wonderful and those demons from last year buried. I ran with a smile and a song - using the Nolans to help me get through the dead zone by the power station. (Don't even ask - but seems I know all the words to I'm in the Mood for Dancing).  Stopping for a selfie (to the bemusement of St Johns Ambulance) and knowing I was NEVER coming back there! At least not for a long long time. Seems singing really works for me as my last 10k I felt strong and began to overtake people. Picking them off and picking up pace. With a cry of Um Bongo at mile 23 I dug in for home and smashed my PB finishing in 4:48:24. Even better Megan was there to hand me my medal and I was able to enjoy the beach and a post run champagne without the same pain and fear of another marathon due in two weeks! 

My Berlin plan appeared on the fridge as soon as I could draft it. Trying to head off that post marathon slump. But it still came. For what felt like forever I ran only 5ks and they felt like miles and miles. Our first long runs even with the joy of our new found hamper stop were tough and painful. Why can you run a marathon but then feel like you're starting again from scratch? Perhaps the challenge of Berlin wasn't enough? Perhaps I needed to think about why I run and what it gives me? 

So I hatched a secret plan for my birthday. How to enjoy it even though I was going to be on my own. How to take my mind off lots of life's stresses that are constantly swirling around. After a gentle 14 mile run by myself I knew I could design a birthday route which would take in all I wanted. A route from home - up to the North Downs Way, a stop for lunch and then the Greensand Way before turning for home. Perfect. When I woke up on my birthday to find the weather forecasters were right and we had torrential rain, high winds and generally the worst running weather I'd ever seen - I was truly distraught. My plans were ruined. It was hard to do anything other than sit crying, feeling very sorry for myself. Not even wanting to open cards or presents. On my own and now with nothing to do. Possibly worst birthday ever coming up. But the forecasters weren't totally right. As at 10am the rain broke, the mist lifted and I took the decision to run. By 10.30 I was on my way and by 11am I'd reached Ed's Hill and it was time to climb up to the Downs. I had a new running pack on and I had lots of supplies, including pork pies and mini-scotch eggs for my half way lunch. Halfway wouldn't come until 14 miles. Yep my secret route was a planned 28 miles. Only Keeley and a last minute confession to Jules knew my plan and they both tracked my progress and sent messages of support throughout. 

It was wonderful! Simply beautiful trails, with mud and puddles and fallen trees. I fuelled well. Stopped for a picnic. Got lost a couple of times. But kept going. Mile after mile. Step after step. Over styles. Up stairs. Along overgrown paths. Eventually some rain fell but only as I passed the magic 26.2 miles. I had run marathon distance. So every step from now was something new and took me into ultra territory. I ended on 45.5km - over 28 miles. What a birthday - and I could still walk. Plenty of lessons too (for next time!) and the added bonus of a massive confidence boost. Yes I have a plan for Berlin but now I also know I can run and run. 

Oh and I can also run with a squirrel tale! Did I forget to mention at my 100th run I used my bushy Royal Parks tale - as yep I'm doing the Royal Parks Half in October again but this time as the bodyguard for Chester the Team Squirrel mascot. The good news is that Chester is James and my other bodyguard buddy is Ben. If you're going look out for us both or if you're in Team Squirrel maybe we'll see you at a practice run? Plenty more blogs to share on this I'm sure! 

http://m.virginmoneygiving.com/mt/uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=ChesterTheSquirrel&un_jtt_redirect

You can't run forever

Less than four weeks to go until Brighton and training hasn't been going brilliantly. I've missed a couple of long runs and I just hope they don't turn out to be crucial. Think I've kept the intensity high enough that I should be okay. And that missing fear factor makes such a difference. I'll line up for Brighton knowing I'll have a great time even if I don't need to run a great time!

Although I haven't been doing all my runs I have been getting my mental approach right by mixing with Olympians! First on international women's day some time spent with Amy Williams and Mhairi Spence who shared their stories of heroics and hard work. Then with my best running buddy Jules we went along to Dame Kelly Holmes Running Hub breakfast. If you don't know Kelly is training hard for the London Marathon and is raising money for 5 charities (http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/KellysHeros) Now I've no doubt that she will smash London but to hear this legend share stories of long runs and training that we can all relate to and to find myself discussing nutrition and long run fuel with Kelly was surreal and wonderful. Plus I got to catch up with some UKrunchat pals - it was a perfect morning! 

But I was left with a lasting legacy as Dame Kelly talked about her experience of depression and self-harm and how this affected her and makes her determined to speak out and raise money now. During the drive home I found myself opening up to Jules about my own experiences and how some of that has shaped my running and my desire to ensure I enjoy Brighton. I'm always aware you never truly know someones background unless they share it with you. I take this with me to never judge or second guess someones motives but I'm not so good at sharing my story. But as Jules and I have run side by side for many hundreds of miles now it felt totally right. Plus that drive which Dame Kelly is showing for her charities can help me drive my way around Brighton without falling apart as I did last time. It can then drive me on to Berlin to a possible PB and further to Beachy and beyond for new challenges.  Thanks to Jules for listening and whoever you are don't be afraid to open up. Someone will always listen and you don't have to run 26.2 miles with them to make it okay xx

My life has been a rollercoaster at times but I'm lucky and I'm alive. And now I'm fit and healthy and

able to run and it seems inspire others to run too. On Sunday the Selfie Sunday Runners of Maidstone hit the streets of Maidstone for the Heart of Kent Hospice Run Day - 5k, 10k or a half marathon but all together in our love of running. Our love of selfies and our love of cheering the very last person over that finish line -  especially when they battled hard for it (Megan!).  Running at the speed of chat became a joke between Jules and I but now we wear it with pride as a badge, actually a shirt, of honour.  

The next four weeks will tick by and soon Brighton will be here. I will run that sea front with the biggest smile this year - no matter what happens. Whatever challenge you've faced to get to that start line make sure you enjoy your moment. A friend said to me before Brighton last year "remember that moment in Brighton years ago - now look at you. You're amazing - marathon or no marathon" - this year that's going to drive me round. We're all amazing. We're all special. We can all beat the demons and when we can't? We can run - surrounded by friends and snapping selfies. After all - what other kind of running is there? 

So good luck Dame Kelly Holmes - you'll be amazing at London and I'll think of you when I'm at mile 26 in Brighton as you've helped me already know I'll get to that finish line with a smile! 

I do it my way!

Sometimes it's easy to forget I haven't really been running very long - it will be 3 years this summer. In that time I'm on to what is only my 4th formal training plan (stuck to the fridge) but what makes this one so different is I've been determined to learn from past mistakes. So far, so good it seems with Brighton marathon looming just 2 months away. I've been clear all along what my goal is for Brighton this year - get round enjoying every step. No time pressure. No going to beat last years time. No seeing how I feel on the day. This will be the last time I run Brighton marathon and I want to bury the demons I found in myself last year. I want to finish running and smiling.

Which means back to those lessons from last year:

1. Don't over train

2. Rest is important 

3. Run for fun 

The impact of these lessons has made a huge difference to my training and running since this plan started in earnest this year. Lesson one - it's all about thinking carefully how far I need to run to be marathon ready and the pace I'm running at. With back to back marathons last year I thought it important to run two 20 mile races. Plus I had no idea what running 26.2 would be like. This year I'm lucky. I know what it's like and I know I've managed it twice. So now it's about making the training count. Building up to one 20 mile long run and giving myself a decent taper so I'm fit but not tired. The Selfie Sundays are a fabulous motivator and last year training and running together is what got me to the start line at Brighton. But it's also what made me struggle to the finish. Pace is everything in marathon running and training. It doesn't matter what you read they all say the same thing - do your long runs 10% (or more) off planned race pace. If you analyse most of my LSRs last year they were all on or faster than my actual race pace on the day. Significantly so - which means none of them were slower!

Add to that lesson two and I look back and think I was tired at Brighton. Yes there were other things I should and could have done differently. But I didn't give myself a good start. So now I'm taking the time to cut back on long runs. Rest during the week. Use a recovery run as a recovery run. Maximise other training sessions such as hills. Oh and book in regular sports massages. I've pretty much given up on my foam roller (she is like a woman scorned) and don't tell anyone but I've never really been one for stretching. I've tried to stick to it and used apps recommended but ultimately. I run. I stretch a little. But I read if in the end stretching doesn't work for you don't worry, as there is equal evidence that says it does you harm or good!
 

Then there are the Seflies - the most amazing, wonderful group of runners and friends I could wish for. I've been so lucky that with them I can combine all my lessons. But this year I've had to make some changes and become more selfish. Particularly on the pace issue - I want slow steady Sunday runs. To help this we've all been able to find our niche and gravitate towards those who want the same things. Which means the Selfies have split into different time slots and groups - which is what has made the group work so well over all this time. It's not a running club. It's simply a place folk can find friends to run with - oh and ideally take a few selfies and have a few laughs along the way. 

Which is of course lesson three - running is my hobby. It keeps me fit. Makes me feel good. Gets me out of the house so the wife can watch Netflix. Even races are part of this - we line up at the start and take selfies. Sometimes we take selfies on route. But I always run with a smile and a jazz hand not far away. Enjoying it is paramount for me. Of course I get enjoyment from a great run - this year the lessons from last year have paid dividends. During a two week cut back period I ran a pleasing 56 minute 10k chatting with Jules all the way round and then last week, knowing I was feeling good, I went for my half marathon personal best. I got it - by nearly 5 minutes and finally broke 2 hours finishing in 1:58:36. 

I even seem to have got my eating under control - shedding a stone since Christmas and hopefully lining up for Brighton trim, rested and happy. Which doesn't mean I'll forget my goal and go for it. I won't. But that doesn't mean I won't have a different goal for Berlin in September. After all if I've learnt all the lessons from last year there should be a few more to stand me in good stead! 

Finding my goal

There are three things about me 1. I'm insanely competitive 2. I'm sometimes arrogant and 3. I lack self-confidence. Now at least one of those things may surprise you. Indeed maybe all of them will surprise you and just perhaps you may disagree with my self-assessment. But hey it's my blog! So what have all these things got to do with running? I will of course explain....

It's hard to believe that it's only been just over one year since I ran my first half marathon at Royal Parks and of course after that I entered a bit of a wasteland. Apparently very common when you train for a race. It was the first time I'd had a plan. That I'd set myself a goal and that I'd worked my socks off to achieve the best I could. The same happened after Brighton and London (aided by some intense tiredness) and I've sort of been floating around races and relaxing since then. 

But you'll all be glad to know that a plan is back on the fridge and I'm week 3 in to training for Brighton next year. It's going well and I'm just trying to keep a consistent 13 miles up to Christmas. I want to learn all the lessons from the marathons this year. (I nearly said last year as there is clearly this weird time warp in running that relates to pre and post VLM which changes the year you're in!) So I don't want to over train. To get tired and turn up at Brighton and implode again. But is that enough? Is my goal to turn up and run where I should be aiming? After all I've run Brighton before and have a PB of 4:53:32. And this is where those 3 things about me come in. 

1. I'm insanely competitive. Well at least I used to be. But as I've got older I've learnt actually it doesn't matter. Or does it? And that's the problem. Once a competitor always a competitor and it bubbles around the surface but I squish it like the hideous pus filled spot it is! I don't want to chase times and to be obsessed with beating my PBs. It's hard enough at parkrun knowing I'm nowhere near my PB let alone all races being about that. I'm getting older and it doesn't seem to get any easier. But but but.....

2. I'm sometimes arrogant - yes I know hard to believe but it's true. So of course I believe that actually I should and could beat all my PBs and I should be able to keep up with those younger and fitter than me. And I get insanely jealous and depressed when I can't - so number 1 just gets fed again and again and again. 

3. I lack self-confidence - look I used to be 18 stone, that's not the sign of someone brimming with self-confidence or self-esteem! So when I can't keep up or I find myself at the back or I worry if our Sunday runs are full of the speed demons and no one else then inside I implode. All those memories of being put in left field, or not making the first team or losing at monopoly or scrabble or any other game come back. And it stops being fun. It becomes a mental nightmare. Then I just want to stop and not do it anymore. Which of course is because of number 1 as much as lacking confidence! 

So what do 1, 2 and 3 add up to - well I think there could be a number 4. I know my limits. Which means I should continue doing what I do best - running for fun, running for me and running for selfies. The PBs will still come - my recent 10k PB proves that. I may find the magic formula to stop eating Krispy Kremes and Reeses by Brighton and be super slim, super fit and spurred on by the power of Um Bongo beat last years time. But that's not going to be my goal - and no, that doesn't mean it will secretly be my goal either - my life needs balance and running is my hobby. Or is taking selfies my hobby? I forget which....

Mid-week hiatus

Well I'm a marathoner! Yep I ran 26.2 miles or to be more accurate 26 miles 385 yards last Sunday. I'd like to say it all went to plan and was fabulous and that I felt simply amazing the whole way. Sadly I can't say that as I want this blog to at least be the truth. But I can say it was amazing. It was hard. It was fun too. And I did it. I did it in 4 hours 53 minutes and 32 seconds.

We'll get to the fact I've got to do it all over again in 7 days in a moment. 

So, how was it? Well I couldn't have done it without a few people. First my running at the speed of chat buddy Um Bongo Jules. We laughed, cried, high fived, hugged and photo bombed our way round nearly the whole way. Even in the dreaded industrial park we kept each other going. And boy did we pace it perfectly. Each mile ticked off exactly as planned. And I'm super proud she kept it going and was able to finish in 4 hours 50! 

Second all the fabulous supporters out on route - Teresa, Howard, Tony, Lucy, the McDonnells, the Um Bongo fan club, then my own crew - Yolaine, Veronique, Sharon, Nicky, Caroline, Mike and Serena. Even better my amazing niece Maria who I saw 3 times and Keeley who was in the right place at the right time as always. 

Finally the extra supporters who are mostly strangers but become friends as you run. The amazing Bosh crew on route, all the Run Mummy Runners and UkRunChat. And the strangers in the crowd who call out your name like you're a champion and give you that extra drive to get to the finish. 

So the race itself - it started with excitement (not just for my VIP area and posh toilets) and high fiving Jo Pavey. We kept to our pace place 7min/km for the start. Not going off too fast. Chatting. Cheering. Spotting friends and family. The route was great. Flat and crowded as we wound around the streets of Brighton and headed out toward Rodean. A few gentle hills but nothing like our Downs training runs. The sun was hot and there was little sea breeze so we knew this wasn't going to be easy. By half way we were flying and it was great to see Keeley and everyone enjoying themselves too. It was a great day. We photo bombed Katharine Merry doing a TV interview and at 15 miles I even paused for a quick Footloose dance outside a pub which got a great cheer! 

Then we entered a residential district which snaked its way past people with oranges, watermelon, the Queen and Prince Philip, residents of care homes outside to cheer us on! As we looped back round to head toward mile 18 it was starting to get hard. It was warm and I was taking on water but was it enough. Or was it too much? My mind started to play tricks on me. Seeing Maria at 18 miles for a hug gave me a push though and on we went. Heading toward the magic 20 miles and into the unknown. The mental barrier of passing into distances I've not run before. 

This is what makes Brighton so tough. Most runners haven't gone beyond 20 miles in training. So the first time you do is in the race. And in Brighton they make this the toughest part of the run - out into the industrial waste land of Shoreham Power station. It's long, it's bleak and it smells of fish. There is little to enjoy out there. But you learn what you're made of. I was so lucky to have Jules alongside me. We tried to find things to talk about. To take our mind off it. We carried on laughing and chatting. But I could feel my legs and my head fading. This was getting harder and hotter. At 22 miles we passed the fabulous Saucony screen and lucky for me Keeley appeared - I didn't hear what she said but seeing her was enough. It brought tears to my eyes but strength to my heart. She would be at mile 25. I just had to keep going. 

As we turned through mile 23 we reached just a 5k to go! One final parkrun. We had been counting them down slowly and surely. And as if to cement the point there were the Giles' with hugs and water! 

Don't be fooled a marathon is tough and it's now at mile 23 you understand how tough it is. What was great was that Jules still had energy in her legs - so with a heavy heart from both of us one said "go!" And the other said "I'm sorry!"  It's mad isn't how you feel - one guilty the other actually pleased someone can still run!! There's a moment where I thought - keep up. Chase her down. But my legs didn't have it. I started to feel despair when at that moment a friend from the past appeared alongside me, cheering me on and running alongside me for a short way. Jo you will never know how much I needed that! Another mile ticked past. 24. Two to go. 

By now I was run/walking. No more than a 20 second walk. But enough to help me feel I could get there. I so wanted to run the whole way. But I just didn't have it. Yet every time someone cheered me I picked up and started again and then I knew I was near my cheering point. 25.6 miles. I think I sprinted toward Keeley to get that last energy giving hug. To feel I could do this. To feel I could make the end. I could feel she didn't want to let me go and I knew she knew how hard I was finding it. But I had to finish. And I had to finish in under 5 hours! 

I had been working out how slow I could go to still make it. My mind was sapped of all the strength I thought it had. The crowds grew larger. The cheers louder. I was being swept along.  I reached 26 miles at a walking pace. At which point I said out loud "for F@%# sake Jo you can run 385 yards!!" And I broke in to a run again. Cheers everywhere and then there was Maria waving her banner along the finish. The final inspiration I needed with an exchange of love between us! And there was the finish line. I'd done it. I'd made it. It is me after all so out came the smiles, the jazz hands and the glory!! 

And then it was over. An amazing race. A medal around my neck. A long walk to reach my bag and my friends and family. But I was walking. Elated. Exhausted. Emotional. A marathon runner. 

But what makes Brighton so special - not only my first marathon but so many of us did it and did it well! Lisa, Ben, Sue, James, Richard, Gerry, Jules, Jim, Claire, Felicity. And the woman who's fault it all was hey Dolly! 

This last week I've been over and over it all. So many times. I know what I did wrong. I know what I would change. I've been disappointed in myself. I've been proud of myself. It's a roller coaster. Part of me is glad I get to do it again so quickly. My legs are recovering. I've got a cold which is on its way out. And surely I can find the mental strength which seemed to desert me at mile 21 in Brighton? So I'm as ready as I'll ever be for London and if you can't raise your game for the London Marathon, celebrating its 35th anniversary and with Paula Radcliffe running then what can you do? Besides many of the support team will be out there again and I know Keeley will be at mile 25 and this time I'm determined she sees the Jo that has dug deep and is feeling strong! 

On your marks....

Yesterday someone asked me when Brighton was - the only way I could describe it was by saying "a week on Sunday" - it sent shivers down my spine. This marathon is so close I can begin to really believe this is going to happen!

I say that because over the last few weeks there have been times I thought maybe it wouldn't. Since my disaster on the Downs I've been at my lowest in my training. My ITB has caused continued knee pain and although it's a lot better thanks to the wonders of Luke my sports massager, my now religious foam rollering, stretching, strengthening I still don't quite know how it will last 26.2 miles. I've realised though don't mess about with looking after yourself. How many runners stretch after a run?  How often have you been advised that you should stretch or do strength exercises? How many times have you read someone ask that in a blog? We all think we're invincible. You will learn (as I have) that you aren't. I just hope unlike me this doesn't happen to you 3 weeks before your first marathon! 

A highlight in the last two weeks was to run Warwick Half with two of my nieces - they were both amazing - we learnt a lot about ourselves and how hard running is out on that course. But with a smile, some singing and plenty of high fives made it around the 13.1 miles in an impressive 2:21:16. I hope they both still feel as proud as I do about this race. And I hope they both keep running.

For me running has gone from a means to an end to the meaning itself. I find happiness in running with my friends (and now family), but I also find solace in solo runs. A chance to free my mind from the stress of the world. It never gets easier. Be it 5k or 40k every run still has ups and downs. The legs can feel heavy. My breathing laboured. But recovery gets easier at the end. And more importantly when your running through beautiful countryside, or in gorgeous sunshine and even in cold and rain and suddenly everything clicks and you feel totally free and just a moment of what you could have been if you'd started running at school - well the world feels great! Or it could just be you know you can go home and it Krispy Kremes without guilt?! 

I had a run like that last night (not a doughnut run!) when for the first time in weeks as I ran through the rain at Sweatshop 5k my knee didn't hurt, I felt strong, I felt fit. All things you aren't meant to feel in taper (that time when you wind down before your big race) as often reducing your running can send your mind into craziness! But I think I was so pleased that finally I'm on my way back to feeling like I can do this the taper-madness held off and I just enjoyed my run. Again though the common factor is I was surrounded by friends. Friends who have been here each step of this crazy marathon challenge. Friends that I happily turned out to cheer on a wet Sunday morning even though I wasn't running. Two years ago I didn't know people ran races. Now I go to a local race and get to cheer not just strangers but members of my community and great friends. 

So, just 11 days to go now as I write this and then I'll be lining up at the start of Brighton marathon with lots of those friends. I'm told you never forget your first marathon. I'm told the feeling as you cross the finish line is one of the greatest things you'll ever achieve. I'm now terrified and exhilarated in equal measure knowing that in just a few days I'll find out if what I'm told is true! 

Miles and Milestones

There are 8 weeks until Brighton marathon and 10 until London. Which means I am on week 7 of my post Christmas training plan. The news is good though. It all seems to be going far too well. And why is this? Well it may have something to do with the Sunday Selfie Runners - who are these folk I hear you ask (come on play along)?  Let me tell you all about them....

Once upon a time I hated running. Then as you know I discovered Sweatshop, parkrun and started to enjoy myself a little. Then I started races, getting medals for running and other lovely stuff. Before you knew it I had rather rashly signed up to my double marathon experience (get on with it I hear you cry). So now how to manage training - bring on the Sunday Selfie Runners! My cunning trick to get most other runners I know drag me along to complete the required mileage for Brighton and London. A simple Facebook group, some willing volunteers and a simple bit of mind games so they believe I'm some how helping them to reach their marathon goals! 

We head out every Sunday on a fabulous route mapped on plotaroute.com by our routemaster General. The distance is always set by me based on my training plan (see I'm Machiavelli) and I fool them into thinking it's fun by stopping now and then to take selfies. All the while ensuring I can't bottle out of training because I'm surrounded by people who quite frankly will just nag me till I finish. We all find our own pace and sometimes we lose people on the way round (Ed never seems to go far with us). And some of the men seem to find the energy to race each other at the end of the long runs too! 

It works a treat. So much so that I've passed through some of the tough parts of training - each week becomes a longest ever run - 15 miles, 16 miles, 17 miles - blimey I can crawl to the end of the marathon if I know I can run that far. Today we began a new technique - including races as part of training. Well if you're going to train for a marathon may as well get some bling. So I ran Headcorn Half with my selfie crew. Then to get to 18 miles I did a 5 miler back at home. Another milestone passed. 

Even better 2 weeks ago I hit 50 parkruns a very special milestone and it allowed me to share my views on what I recommend as the ideal way to celebrate 50 runs. If you haven't been to parkrun. Why not? Get there at once. Find your local at www.parkrun.org. So the top 10 essentials to make your 50th run a big hit:

1. Tell everyone you know it's going to be 50 runs on Saturday - social media works wonders and if you're really lucky you may get some cards.

2. Find a red shirt to wear - you get a lovely free red shirt from parkrun for 50 runs so why not pretend you're wearing it on the day.

3. Get a badge, or multiple badges - that way everyone knows today is the day.

4. Arrive early - you want to make sure you're in a good position for the run briefing and to soak up congrats for those who've caught up with social media (see number 1).

5. Be sure you've arranged a cheering squad - make sure all friends are in attendance for the big 50. If it looks like they won't be there then delay that all important run by volunteering.

6. If they call your name - head to the front, go one don't be scared. Everyone just wants to enjoy your moment - you've earned it after all.

7. Make the most of your time at the front - perhaps pause to take a selfie, pose for official photos and hope that some of those also celebrating their 10th, 50th or 100th runs will join you.

8. Do your very best to run a PB - ignore all pleas by the Run Director to be careful of ice and RUN!

9. Don't be upset if you fail to get a PB -  after all you were clearly instructed by the Run Director not to run fast because of ice.

10. See if you can get someone to bring you a cake! You've just run 5k, there is always room for cake so - even if no one is kind enough to bring you a celebration cake - stop in to Dotty's and join us all for a post run debrief and continue the celebration. 

Now you don't have to do all of these but try and do at least one to ensure you really benefit from the 50th run experience. But be warned, certain combinations of these may result in people you don't know thinking you are celebrating a birthday and this may cause some upset if you're nowhere near reaching 50!

The biggest milestone is yet to come - in a couple of weeks I have to run 20 miles. Of course I'm doing it as part of a race (I want a medal for this!) and then a week later? Well a week later I'm going to run 20 miles again! It's another race and apparently as I have to run 2 marathons I may as well practice this back to back running thing. I'm hoping I can persuade some chums to come out with me. Maybe we can take a few selfies? I think we may be the only people who take selfies mid race though.... 

Oh but at least I know when it really isn't appropriate for a selfie as today mid race I passed my biggest milestone of all - and luckily I had some toilet paper.....

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Festive rejuvenation!

It's 2015 and just a couple of hand fulls of weeks until my first ever marathon. Oh and then my second!

Yes it's become all too real. But guess what? I'm okay! In fact I'm more than okay. Father Christmas presented a parkrun shaped stocking to me on Christmas Day which led to a total of 55k run from then until New Years Eve. And what fun we all had. 

It reminded me of all the reasons I started to love running. YES it's true I love running. I know, I know. You all knew it. I knew it but now I'm not afraid to say it. Getting up on a cold and frosty Boxing Day to have people sign in to my unofficial SRC Maidstonen run has to be a highlight of 2014. Especially when myself and Felicity dropped back but rounded a corner at 3k to find everyone had stopped to wait for us. Which they did all they way around the 10k route. Magical. 

Thanks to some fabulous unexpected pacing by my friend Ben the very next day I beat my Maidstone parkrun PB by a whole second!









Add to this a sunny end of the year 10 mile race around Staplehurst on a crisp, clear winters day - mostly spent chatting to my long standing run buddy Colin who reminded us all of his epic Beachy Head spirit by powering up the hills. Supported by fairly new runner Gerry who left us for dust over the last mile. A bit of bling to bring in the New Year. 

What a new year - double parkrun day. Shin splints in the first and a fear for the second. But complete non-runner friend Serena had come for both so come on - I was a marine - (well I wasn't but I so could have been) toughen up. A drink and energy bar later and a strange drop in temperature from drinking just 10 miles up the road and I was only 2 seconds off my PB for the route of our second parkrun. 

Can you believe it gets better - on a visit to family I nip to Shrewsbury parkrun (closing in on 50 runs so don't want to miss one) and I catch up with Margaret (@nicecuppatea) and then completely randomly run into Run Mummy Runner Amy who I met at Royal Parks Half. Which was lucky as Amy doesn't often do parkrun but was supporting another RMR for her first! 

Then home and the guts of my marathon training starts - all chocolate in the house eaten. Following the James Lampert school of clearing the cupboards and we hit those North down trails. I love these runs. They are everything running should be. Everything running has become. Plus we even have a shared spreadsheet across our group now so we can keep up with our plans, our races and benchmark activity BBM and ABM (Before Brighton Marathon and After Brighton Marathon). Could life be any better and so different to those dark November days? Ask me at mile 20 on 12 April. 

I can't imagine what it will be like. I know it will be hard. But I'm no longer scared. I'm having too much fun. Especially with my new Garmin Forerunner 620 strapped to my wrist telling me my VO2 Max means I can run a marathon in 4hrs 15 minutes. Seriously?! Good thing is I don't want to run it that fast. I just want to run. With my friend Glyn and knowing all my other friends - who were once just crazy strangers who did this thing called running - are out there on the course too. We will be willing each other to finish. And yes. Of course they'll be plenty of selfies going on too!