p.s what happened next...

So that was London, 3 weeks ago. And since then? It's not been easy. I knew it wouldn't be and I knew I'd be tired. But wow I had no idea just how tired.

So I've been resting. Recovering. I've run a little. I've stopped runs because my heart wasn't it. Hell, I ran a race - got a medal just last weekend. But I did begin to wonder - would I really get it back? I declared "no more marathons after Brighton and New York", which I meant. Sincerely. They're hard. Really hard. And it takes so much out of your life to train and run.

I haven't lost my mojo - my passion for running is as strong as ever. I just knew I needed rest. Lots of rest. Plenty of races entered for this year so lots to shoot for. But who knew 5k could feel so hard? Who knew legs could be so tired? And the mental battle you've been through - and for me twice, in two weeks.

And then this morning - with just a small group of my selfie running friends I thought I'd go back to one of my oldest running routes. The place I first did a long run, along the river - I went for run. Speed of chat pace, selfies and sunshine. We ran 10 miles and it felt great. I loved it. I loved it so much more than a 5k, or a 10k and I felt I could have run on. I felt like I was a distance runner. I feel like I've found my place in the running universe.

I don't care how fast I run. I don't care if I never run a marathon under 5 hours again. I don't care if I never run a 5k in 25 minutes. It doesn't upset or bother me if my 10k PB stays at 55 minutes until I can't run any more. What I love is the feeling of running with friends, of stopping for a selfie, of covering ground you've not covered before. Oh and I love a medal, the crowds cheering you on, the sense of accomplishment, of achievement, of knowing you had to reach places you didn't know you had. I realised today I want to run for the love of running. I've had enough things in my life that I have had to fight for and I don't want running to be another.

If I'm going to run it has to be for me and it has to be for fun.  So it will be.