Festive rejuvenation!

It's 2015 and just a couple of hand fulls of weeks until my first ever marathon. Oh and then my second!

Yes it's become all too real. But guess what? I'm okay! In fact I'm more than okay. Father Christmas presented a parkrun shaped stocking to me on Christmas Day which led to a total of 55k run from then until New Years Eve. And what fun we all had. 

It reminded me of all the reasons I started to love running. YES it's true I love running. I know, I know. You all knew it. I knew it but now I'm not afraid to say it. Getting up on a cold and frosty Boxing Day to have people sign in to my unofficial SRC Maidstonen run has to be a highlight of 2014. Especially when myself and Felicity dropped back but rounded a corner at 3k to find everyone had stopped to wait for us. Which they did all they way around the 10k route. Magical. 

Thanks to some fabulous unexpected pacing by my friend Ben the very next day I beat my Maidstone parkrun PB by a whole second!









Add to this a sunny end of the year 10 mile race around Staplehurst on a crisp, clear winters day - mostly spent chatting to my long standing run buddy Colin who reminded us all of his epic Beachy Head spirit by powering up the hills. Supported by fairly new runner Gerry who left us for dust over the last mile. A bit of bling to bring in the New Year. 

What a new year - double parkrun day. Shin splints in the first and a fear for the second. But complete non-runner friend Serena had come for both so come on - I was a marine - (well I wasn't but I so could have been) toughen up. A drink and energy bar later and a strange drop in temperature from drinking just 10 miles up the road and I was only 2 seconds off my PB for the route of our second parkrun. 

Can you believe it gets better - on a visit to family I nip to Shrewsbury parkrun (closing in on 50 runs so don't want to miss one) and I catch up with Margaret (@nicecuppatea) and then completely randomly run into Run Mummy Runner Amy who I met at Royal Parks Half. Which was lucky as Amy doesn't often do parkrun but was supporting another RMR for her first! 

Then home and the guts of my marathon training starts - all chocolate in the house eaten. Following the James Lampert school of clearing the cupboards and we hit those North down trails. I love these runs. They are everything running should be. Everything running has become. Plus we even have a shared spreadsheet across our group now so we can keep up with our plans, our races and benchmark activity BBM and ABM (Before Brighton Marathon and After Brighton Marathon). Could life be any better and so different to those dark November days? Ask me at mile 20 on 12 April. 

I can't imagine what it will be like. I know it will be hard. But I'm no longer scared. I'm having too much fun. Especially with my new Garmin Forerunner 620 strapped to my wrist telling me my VO2 Max means I can run a marathon in 4hrs 15 minutes. Seriously?! Good thing is I don't want to run it that fast. I just want to run. With my friend Glyn and knowing all my other friends - who were once just crazy strangers who did this thing called running - are out there on the course too. We will be willing each other to finish. And yes. Of course they'll be plenty of selfies going on too! 

Deflated or defeated?

That's it I've entered the wilderness. Lost in a no mans land where I know deep down the crucial part of my marathon training doesn't have to start until the new year - and the weather is cold, my motivation is low, my extra weight isn't shifting.....blah blah blah. 

Blimey why would you read this blog? I'm not sure I want to write it. It was all I could do tonight not to dive in Tesco pick up a doesn't Krispy Kremes and bring them home to eat the lot. I'm an all or nothing dieter! No wonder I was once 18 stone. My mood dictates my food. 

I feel a fraud. I've tricked you all in to believing I'm a runner. Hell apparently some of you have been inspired to take it up. STOP now before it goes too far! Before one day you wake up and don't want to run. Before even then easy runs become hard. Before you start to doubt your doubts. It was so much easier when all I had going on was my inability to open a SIS gel packet! 

Right now I could give it all up. Seriously I could. But am I just deflated or am I defeated? I suspect the fact I've just purchased two "spare" pair of my running shoes means my woeful mood is temporary and I'm not giving up running. But I'm hating each step. I'm hating that I hate it. I'm avoiding Twitter. I haven't been on UKRunChat or Run Mummy Run for ages. These should be places you get support. But they sometimes feel like only places happy runners go. 

This could still be a post race slump. I had two good runs last week a sub 28 5k and a sub 60 10k. They felt hard. And I don't feel like I do that enough. Like I'm improving. Does it really matter? I didn't used to care or compete over times. But maybe the running community sucks you in to caring too much. Perhaps that's one of its flaws. We're all at heart wanting to feel like we're winners. And when we can't. When we don't. We then just feel like failures. 

Life is busy at the moment. Lots of change. And I'm prone to times when I can be too hard on myself. But running was meant to be my release and it's starting to feel like my albatross. There will be a way out and a sunny side. I'm still working through the plan and I have a half marathon in just over a week. The addition of a new medal may help. And who knows perhaps Father Christmas will bring me a shiny new mo-jo all wrapped up in pretty paper and a ribbon? 

Half way there!

That's it I did it. I ran Royal Parks Half Marathon in 2 hours 8 minutes and 6 seconds. Not bad for my first go at 13.1 miles. I am now an official half marathon runner. Despite completely missing the Royal Albert Hall at mile 12 (even though photos prove it was right in front of me) I had a blast. 

That doesn't mean it was easy - it wasn't - I had to dig deep (thanks Dolly!!) at many points during the race. Mile 9-12 especially, there were new random pains, sore feet, crowded paths but all the time I focused on the job at hand. I remembered all the things my training taught me, I had motivation from all the support I've received (real and virtual), there were people shouting my name and there were amazing crowds. And there was Keeley. At miles 1, 6 and 9 - just as we'd planned. And wow what a difference that made. As it makes every day when I see Keeley - just as we planned.

Without doubt it was an amazing life affirming experience full of new friends, old friends and great tales to tell. 

But what next? I now know I can run 13.1 miles in a good time. My legs at the end told me I'm a long way off doubling that distance. The race also taught me that training is everything. I had rehearsed every inch of Royal Parks - and it paid off.  Now how to take that forward to my double marathon experience next April? 

The answer? Sit on the sofa for a while. It's been 25 days since my first half marathon. I've run 7 times. Once upon a time that ratio would have been pretty impressive. Now I feel fairly blurgh about the whole thing. I've rejoined weight watchers (having put on a stone in the last 7 months) and I'm doing my best to build up motivation - having rather rashly entered Ashford Half in just 3 weeks time. I'm sure all will be well. And after all I've written my double marathon training plan - I can build up slowly, there's loads of time. It'll be great. I'm Little Miss Positive aren't i? 

Aren't i? Perhaps I need to remember miles 9-12 and dig deep just a little bit more once again. Sometimes for no reason at all things aren't easy. And if they were - well I guess they wouldn't be worth having (isn't that a fridge magnet somewhere?) - my other blog - Wise-Words is the serious blog but actually this is about my marathon experience and face it, it's not all going to be laughs. Running is hard. It's hard to keep motivated. It's hard to get out there day after day, especially if work is long and draining.  It's hard to bounce back from disappointments, missed times, poor runs, unexplained crapness. And then it's hard to stop that creeping into your head. Bringing up all those negative thoughts you felt you had under control. 

But I'm Little Miss Positive. And I've got 5 months, 5 days, 10 hours, 54 minutes and 20 seconds  to find my mojo. I've got a shiny new plan. And I've got you. Yes YOU - goodness you didn't think you could just read this blog and give nothing back surely? Cause 26.2 miles x 2 in 14 days is a long way. And the journey to get there is even further - mentally and physically and I'm going to need more than just Keeley at miles 1, 6 and 9. So come on dust off those Pom-Poms real and virtual. This is where the hard work really begins! 

All change...

Well, this blog was going to be titled "I still believe in me" - referencing the Kids from Fame song. After a tough few weeks in my non-running life I was going to talk about my last long training run on my own, before Royal Parks. After weeks of long runs with friends, feeling good - all running together across the North Downs. Stopping for selfies, flower picking, recovery disguised as chatting - all making the fact I had run over 13 miles for the first time much easier. 


So on Sunday as I returned to my favourite solo route along the river, just the cows and walkers for company I felt great. I had my old running play list running through my head (a fabulous mix of 80s movie music) - no longer on headphones but ringing in my ears just the same. Wow, just how far have I come! New shoes already have 40k in them, no more gel mishaps and last week of my first ever training plan nearly complete. 

Everything is in place for Royal Parks Half Marathon. My first ever race over 13.1 miles. Feeling good. Feeling great. Who knew it would get even better? 

You see back in April I did something a little rash - without telling anyone (not even my partner) I entered the 2015 London Marathon ballot. The chances of being successful are so slim I figured may as well see what happens. With Brighton Marathon just two weeks before if a miracle should happen I'll just defer London and know that in 2016 I'll have a place. Well a miracle has happened. First time in the ballot. First time lucky. Two weeks after Brighton I'm supposed to run in London. 

Supposed to - oh go on, you know me by now. I'm SO going to run in London. After all reaching the 26 April and watching everyone set off without me - no chance. Besides with Brighton safely in the bag the pressure is off, I can enjoy myself. Think of it as a long run with friends, feeling good, stopping for selfies,  picking flowers even? Why not, what have I got to lose? 

On this crazy journey of mine - everything suddenly seems possible!



If you've read my blog and fancy offering support to my chosen Royal Parks charity Amnesty International please use the link at the top of the page or text JOFW99 £2 to 70070. 

A moment of inspiration

Just a short blog - mainly because 140 characters in a Tweet isn't enough to say how I feel.

6 weeks to go until my first half marathon, the plan is still going well - with a few adjustments here and there. This weekend I'm going to attempt my longest run ever, I'm terrified but I'll be running with my friend Colin so know it will be okay. 

Tonight was my favourite start to the weekend, the 10k SRC run at Sweatshop Maidstone. I do it nearly every Friday, it's a run with friends along a route I'm familiar with. The 10k distance no longer holds any fear. But you never know when a bad run will sneak up on you. 

2k I found myself at the back of the group, with the lovely back marshals for company. That was fine, I didn't feel like a speedy run and I know them well. I was a little worried I'd slow them down but no one at SRC ever makes you feel that way so it soon passed. But at 4k I realised this wasn't going to be the easy run I'd hoped. My legs felt tired, my mind felt tired and worse my shins started to hurt. 

I'm an expert in sore shins so I knew it was nothing I couldn't run through, but running with sore shins still isn't fun and if you're tired it just makes it worse. But what makes it even worse is knowing that at 7k you'll hit the dreaded SRC Boxley Hill. Sometimes we run down Boxley, but not tonight. Tonight it was about making that long, slow climb feeling tired and with sore shins. I was prepared that for the first time at a Sweatshop run I may need to walk. 

As I started up Boxley I wasn't feeling confident, there was a gap now between me and the back marshals so I was on my own.  But then a moment of magic happened. I started thinking about all my running friends I'd interacted with this week and all those that have helped get me to where I am.  In particular the strong women I've found myself surrounded with through Run Mummy Run and UKRunchat - Shelley, Shona, Dolly, Fiona and the men who've run alongside me or offered me advice - Matt, Glyn, Colin.  I thought about all those who have sponsored me so far for my half and why I'm running for Amnesty International. 

I started to feel inspired, I drew on that inspiration - on the images of friends (some I've only ever met online), on the confidence invested in my by others and I began to feel strong. The pain in my legs subsided and I focused on just running. I remembered it doesn't matter how far you run, how fast you run but just the fact you run. 

And then I realised who my biggest inspiration was - myself. The person I'd now become, the 7 stone lighter, long distance running me. It was a magical moment and no it didn't stop my shins from hurting at the end but it did get me up Boxley Hill. 

I love it when a plan comes together...

Woohoo I'm back! Where have you been I hear you cry? Well I had my hiatus, I then had my holiday and now I have my mojo. 

What have I learnt since the last time I blogged? 

First don't do a trail race and select to start it at 12 noon. Blimey that was tough at Bedgebury! 

Second, cool as it is to run around Brands Hatch race track it's a pig of a course. Not one bit of it is flat. 

Third, running on holiday is actually really good fun and makes you feel much less guilty about all the food and drink your consuming.

Four, EVERYONE must read Running Like a Girl by Alexandra Heminsley - I don't really do reading anymore, I have a very low boredom threshold and books get started and never finished. I never find the time to pick them up. Even on holiday there is always something else I could be doing. Not this book. started and finished within two days. Made me laugh and cry. But most of all inspired me. Which takes me back to point three. 

Seriously, run on holiday. Most of my runs were fairly short, it was too hot to go far. But on the last day of my holiday, the clouds came over, the pool felt chilly so I thought go for a run. No worrying about time, or distance. I just ran, over one hill, on down to that beach. Stopped for some photos, did aeroplane arms, ran along by the seafront. I felt alive, happy and liberated. 

Arriving home I was inspired and motivated. With 14 weeks until my October Half Marathon at Royal Parks I knew I needed a plan. So out came the running books, the magazines and the internet and after a few days I had designed myself a 12 week training plan. In a moment of panic I realised the worst thing would be to get to the start line and have got it wrong. So thanks to the wonder of Twitter and the magnificent @MattversusMatt I got some hints and tips to refine it and make sure I wasn't get things wrong. 

And now I'm following my plan. And yes I'm following the plan - in fact I love the plan. It is all about the plan. I may get a T-shirt saying "I have a plan". What's even better is the plan is working. I can feel myself getting stronger. I didn't know that running up hills or doing some fartlek would make such a difference, but it does. I'm starting to feel like a runner. 

and pause...

Although I said my blog would be all about the ups and downs, of course I hoped (and believed) it would all be up, up up! Especially once I hit the medal trail, started running longer distances - this blog was going to take me and you all the way to Brighton 2015 without a hiccup. 

No hiccup - just one giant, long, slow BURP!

May was all going so well, ran nearly 12 miles, took part in Larkfield 10k and smashed my personal best and then - well I stopped. I've had to stop before in my short running career - nasty shin splints (I am now a shin splint expert, ask me sometime for my exercise regime) meant I couldn't run for about 3 weeks. 

Something about injury enforced breaks feels easier than what I've just gone through. I've not been injured (although I did have a bad cold for a week) - it's just been life. That chaotic, topsy turvy, uncontrollable, sometimes great, sometimes crap, always fluid and unavoidable thing we all deal with day after day.

I'm not about to go in to detail about my life for the last month, but because of various factors (one being a week that included being on 6 planes across 4 countries) I have achieved 3 runs in 4 weeks. And 2 of those were just last week! 

My running buddy Glyn has said to me today "routine is the key" - of course he's right, but what do you do when you can't fit a routine in? How do you cope with crisis, the unexpected and downright inconvenient? I've learnt that I don't cope well. And when I don't cope well I also eat. 

So of course combined with not running I've been slowly slipping back down a slope of eating chocolate, cake, sweets, fatty foods, ANY FOOD and as this month hasn't been all doom and gloom so too the odd alcoholic drink or two or four or ten! 

Tomorrow is another day and I am now back running - I've done 2 runs this week, and will have my first Friday Sweatshop in a month and most exciting this Saturday have my first ever trail race a 10k through Bedgebury Pinetum. Another medal surely will make me feel better and inspire me to get back to my routine?

I guess I have to review why I stopped running, why I slipped back in to such easy eating habits (lets face it the healthy eating is the hard stuff). I'm not really very good at self-reflection or even self-learning.  But I need to find a way of recognising the signs when life may get in the way, get some strategies for fitting in small runs, baby targets and the odd salad now and then. 

I could just hope this never happens again, yet somehow I think it will after all life is full of burps and farts and runny poo!