On your marks....

Yesterday someone asked me when Brighton was - the only way I could describe it was by saying "a week on Sunday" - it sent shivers down my spine. This marathon is so close I can begin to really believe this is going to happen!

I say that because over the last few weeks there have been times I thought maybe it wouldn't. Since my disaster on the Downs I've been at my lowest in my training. My ITB has caused continued knee pain and although it's a lot better thanks to the wonders of Luke my sports massager, my now religious foam rollering, stretching, strengthening I still don't quite know how it will last 26.2 miles. I've realised though don't mess about with looking after yourself. How many runners stretch after a run?  How often have you been advised that you should stretch or do strength exercises? How many times have you read someone ask that in a blog? We all think we're invincible. You will learn (as I have) that you aren't. I just hope unlike me this doesn't happen to you 3 weeks before your first marathon! 

A highlight in the last two weeks was to run Warwick Half with two of my nieces - they were both amazing - we learnt a lot about ourselves and how hard running is out on that course. But with a smile, some singing and plenty of high fives made it around the 13.1 miles in an impressive 2:21:16. I hope they both still feel as proud as I do about this race. And I hope they both keep running.

For me running has gone from a means to an end to the meaning itself. I find happiness in running with my friends (and now family), but I also find solace in solo runs. A chance to free my mind from the stress of the world. It never gets easier. Be it 5k or 40k every run still has ups and downs. The legs can feel heavy. My breathing laboured. But recovery gets easier at the end. And more importantly when your running through beautiful countryside, or in gorgeous sunshine and even in cold and rain and suddenly everything clicks and you feel totally free and just a moment of what you could have been if you'd started running at school - well the world feels great! Or it could just be you know you can go home and it Krispy Kremes without guilt?! 

I had a run like that last night (not a doughnut run!) when for the first time in weeks as I ran through the rain at Sweatshop 5k my knee didn't hurt, I felt strong, I felt fit. All things you aren't meant to feel in taper (that time when you wind down before your big race) as often reducing your running can send your mind into craziness! But I think I was so pleased that finally I'm on my way back to feeling like I can do this the taper-madness held off and I just enjoyed my run. Again though the common factor is I was surrounded by friends. Friends who have been here each step of this crazy marathon challenge. Friends that I happily turned out to cheer on a wet Sunday morning even though I wasn't running. Two years ago I didn't know people ran races. Now I go to a local race and get to cheer not just strangers but members of my community and great friends. 

So, just 11 days to go now as I write this and then I'll be lining up at the start of Brighton marathon with lots of those friends. I'm told you never forget your first marathon. I'm told the feeling as you cross the finish line is one of the greatest things you'll ever achieve. I'm now terrified and exhilarated in equal measure knowing that in just a few days I'll find out if what I'm told is true! 

Whoops and warning

Four weeks to go. Less now until Brighton and I should be brimming with confidence. I ran two 20 mile races back to back. The second taking 11 minutes off the first. Although they were the hardest thing I've ever done they helped me hit the mental state where I felt confident for the first time saying "I can do this marathon".

Of course I was surrounded by the Sunday Selfies and I feel grateful every day for the support and friendship I've found. How people train for these things alone I have no idea. But huge respect to those that do. As it is nearly every mile I've run has had someone by my side. Although the last 3 miles of the Lydd 20 when I found myself alone I learnt what it meant to reach inside and grind out a run. I focussed on just putting one foot in front of the other. Thinking short strides and willpower would see me through. No tears at the end as there had been at the finish of my first 20 the week before - this running is becoming an emotional journey.

Nutrition strategy has been worked out. My pace for race day has also been calculated. Using learning from all my runs. Advice from others and being realistic in what I can achieve. The stories I'm hearing from others are teaching me not to underestimate how hard this will be. Just 3 more long runs to go - 15 miles today. Warwick Half next week. Folkestone 10 miles on Good Friday. 

As we started on the North Downs I really wanted to finish that way too. It would be like Rocky and our Philadelphia steps. I would feel strong and fit. Mind set in place and physically able to face the challenge to come.  So today with a smaller group than normal (thanks to Mothers Day) we set off and I was as happy as can be. I love running with the Sunday Selfies. My friends. We talk complete rubbish for miles and miles and laugh a lot. There is no pressure to do anything than your own pace and we had hit 3k before I'd even realised. At that point we had a mountain to climb to get up to the North Downs Way - so up we went. Still going well (albeit slowly at this point - no speed records today) and yes it was tough but it was doing us good. Then our first downhill (before we had to go up again) and the pain started. It was pain I recognised so wasn't too worried. I've had ITB trouble (iliotibial band) before and my sports massager Luke has worked wonders for me in the past. The pain is temporary and I can stretch it and foam roll it out when I get home. 

So we continued. Up and down elevations of mammoth proportions.

Every downhill was getting worse and the uphills started to hurt. And we were slow. 10k in 1:30. 2 hours in and not hit 10 miles. We all agreed to cut it short. Head for home. The long downhill was agony. I've not had pain like it running before. Hitting the fairly flat but undulating Pilgrims Way with just 10k to go I thought "okay I can do this". Now alone with my very good run buddy Tim we let the others disappear into the distance and just tried to keep it going. But I couldn't. More walk breaks and finally the realisation this wasn't working. At the last regroup we told the others to head for home. I was, at that point, still thinking I could finish. A few strides later I knew I couldn't. The head over ruled my heart. The longer game more important than this small part. I rang home to be rescued. And after a walk of half a mile we stopped. 

(Just to say when the others left us they put in an amazing 4 mile run picking up their pace considerably so well done guys!) 

Arriving home I'm trying not to be dispondent. I know the solution. Ice. Stretching. Foam roller. Actually doing the squats and lunges Luke recommended back in January! I've got four weeks. I'm not running as much. Today I was in my hybrids not my road shoes. Perhaps the change contributed? We also climbed horrendous hills. And I've run a lot these past few weeks. Taper is the time for care. Rest the legs. Avoid injury. Recover from training. I keep telling myself it's going to be okay. That the confidence I'd gained is still justified. That I shouldn't fear Brighton and the possibility of the pain I felt today returning. These last three months have been some of the toughest of my life. These next four weeks are going to test me even more than I thought - just getting to the start of Brighton is now top of my list! 

Miles and Milestones

There are 8 weeks until Brighton marathon and 10 until London. Which means I am on week 7 of my post Christmas training plan. The news is good though. It all seems to be going far too well. And why is this? Well it may have something to do with the Sunday Selfie Runners - who are these folk I hear you ask (come on play along)?  Let me tell you all about them....

Once upon a time I hated running. Then as you know I discovered Sweatshop, parkrun and started to enjoy myself a little. Then I started races, getting medals for running and other lovely stuff. Before you knew it I had rather rashly signed up to my double marathon experience (get on with it I hear you cry). So now how to manage training - bring on the Sunday Selfie Runners! My cunning trick to get most other runners I know drag me along to complete the required mileage for Brighton and London. A simple Facebook group, some willing volunteers and a simple bit of mind games so they believe I'm some how helping them to reach their marathon goals! 

We head out every Sunday on a fabulous route mapped on plotaroute.com by our routemaster General. The distance is always set by me based on my training plan (see I'm Machiavelli) and I fool them into thinking it's fun by stopping now and then to take selfies. All the while ensuring I can't bottle out of training because I'm surrounded by people who quite frankly will just nag me till I finish. We all find our own pace and sometimes we lose people on the way round (Ed never seems to go far with us). And some of the men seem to find the energy to race each other at the end of the long runs too! 

It works a treat. So much so that I've passed through some of the tough parts of training - each week becomes a longest ever run - 15 miles, 16 miles, 17 miles - blimey I can crawl to the end of the marathon if I know I can run that far. Today we began a new technique - including races as part of training. Well if you're going to train for a marathon may as well get some bling. So I ran Headcorn Half with my selfie crew. Then to get to 18 miles I did a 5 miler back at home. Another milestone passed. 

Even better 2 weeks ago I hit 50 parkruns a very special milestone and it allowed me to share my views on what I recommend as the ideal way to celebrate 50 runs. If you haven't been to parkrun. Why not? Get there at once. Find your local at www.parkrun.org. So the top 10 essentials to make your 50th run a big hit:

1. Tell everyone you know it's going to be 50 runs on Saturday - social media works wonders and if you're really lucky you may get some cards.

2. Find a red shirt to wear - you get a lovely free red shirt from parkrun for 50 runs so why not pretend you're wearing it on the day.

3. Get a badge, or multiple badges - that way everyone knows today is the day.

4. Arrive early - you want to make sure you're in a good position for the run briefing and to soak up congrats for those who've caught up with social media (see number 1).

5. Be sure you've arranged a cheering squad - make sure all friends are in attendance for the big 50. If it looks like they won't be there then delay that all important run by volunteering.

6. If they call your name - head to the front, go one don't be scared. Everyone just wants to enjoy your moment - you've earned it after all.

7. Make the most of your time at the front - perhaps pause to take a selfie, pose for official photos and hope that some of those also celebrating their 10th, 50th or 100th runs will join you.

8. Do your very best to run a PB - ignore all pleas by the Run Director to be careful of ice and RUN!

9. Don't be upset if you fail to get a PB -  after all you were clearly instructed by the Run Director not to run fast because of ice.

10. See if you can get someone to bring you a cake! You've just run 5k, there is always room for cake so - even if no one is kind enough to bring you a celebration cake - stop in to Dotty's and join us all for a post run debrief and continue the celebration. 

Now you don't have to do all of these but try and do at least one to ensure you really benefit from the 50th run experience. But be warned, certain combinations of these may result in people you don't know thinking you are celebrating a birthday and this may cause some upset if you're nowhere near reaching 50!

The biggest milestone is yet to come - in a couple of weeks I have to run 20 miles. Of course I'm doing it as part of a race (I want a medal for this!) and then a week later? Well a week later I'm going to run 20 miles again! It's another race and apparently as I have to run 2 marathons I may as well practice this back to back running thing. I'm hoping I can persuade some chums to come out with me. Maybe we can take a few selfies? I think we may be the only people who take selfies mid race though.... 

Oh but at least I know when it really isn't appropriate for a selfie as today mid race I passed my biggest milestone of all - and luckily I had some toilet paper.....

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Festive rejuvenation!

It's 2015 and just a couple of hand fulls of weeks until my first ever marathon. Oh and then my second!

Yes it's become all too real. But guess what? I'm okay! In fact I'm more than okay. Father Christmas presented a parkrun shaped stocking to me on Christmas Day which led to a total of 55k run from then until New Years Eve. And what fun we all had. 

It reminded me of all the reasons I started to love running. YES it's true I love running. I know, I know. You all knew it. I knew it but now I'm not afraid to say it. Getting up on a cold and frosty Boxing Day to have people sign in to my unofficial SRC Maidstonen run has to be a highlight of 2014. Especially when myself and Felicity dropped back but rounded a corner at 3k to find everyone had stopped to wait for us. Which they did all they way around the 10k route. Magical. 

Thanks to some fabulous unexpected pacing by my friend Ben the very next day I beat my Maidstone parkrun PB by a whole second!









Add to this a sunny end of the year 10 mile race around Staplehurst on a crisp, clear winters day - mostly spent chatting to my long standing run buddy Colin who reminded us all of his epic Beachy Head spirit by powering up the hills. Supported by fairly new runner Gerry who left us for dust over the last mile. A bit of bling to bring in the New Year. 

What a new year - double parkrun day. Shin splints in the first and a fear for the second. But complete non-runner friend Serena had come for both so come on - I was a marine - (well I wasn't but I so could have been) toughen up. A drink and energy bar later and a strange drop in temperature from drinking just 10 miles up the road and I was only 2 seconds off my PB for the route of our second parkrun. 

Can you believe it gets better - on a visit to family I nip to Shrewsbury parkrun (closing in on 50 runs so don't want to miss one) and I catch up with Margaret (@nicecuppatea) and then completely randomly run into Run Mummy Runner Amy who I met at Royal Parks Half. Which was lucky as Amy doesn't often do parkrun but was supporting another RMR for her first! 

Then home and the guts of my marathon training starts - all chocolate in the house eaten. Following the James Lampert school of clearing the cupboards and we hit those North down trails. I love these runs. They are everything running should be. Everything running has become. Plus we even have a shared spreadsheet across our group now so we can keep up with our plans, our races and benchmark activity BBM and ABM (Before Brighton Marathon and After Brighton Marathon). Could life be any better and so different to those dark November days? Ask me at mile 20 on 12 April. 

I can't imagine what it will be like. I know it will be hard. But I'm no longer scared. I'm having too much fun. Especially with my new Garmin Forerunner 620 strapped to my wrist telling me my VO2 Max means I can run a marathon in 4hrs 15 minutes. Seriously?! Good thing is I don't want to run it that fast. I just want to run. With my friend Glyn and knowing all my other friends - who were once just crazy strangers who did this thing called running - are out there on the course too. We will be willing each other to finish. And yes. Of course they'll be plenty of selfies going on too! 

Deflated or defeated?

That's it I've entered the wilderness. Lost in a no mans land where I know deep down the crucial part of my marathon training doesn't have to start until the new year - and the weather is cold, my motivation is low, my extra weight isn't shifting.....blah blah blah. 

Blimey why would you read this blog? I'm not sure I want to write it. It was all I could do tonight not to dive in Tesco pick up a doesn't Krispy Kremes and bring them home to eat the lot. I'm an all or nothing dieter! No wonder I was once 18 stone. My mood dictates my food. 

I feel a fraud. I've tricked you all in to believing I'm a runner. Hell apparently some of you have been inspired to take it up. STOP now before it goes too far! Before one day you wake up and don't want to run. Before even then easy runs become hard. Before you start to doubt your doubts. It was so much easier when all I had going on was my inability to open a SIS gel packet! 

Right now I could give it all up. Seriously I could. But am I just deflated or am I defeated? I suspect the fact I've just purchased two "spare" pair of my running shoes means my woeful mood is temporary and I'm not giving up running. But I'm hating each step. I'm hating that I hate it. I'm avoiding Twitter. I haven't been on UKRunChat or Run Mummy Run for ages. These should be places you get support. But they sometimes feel like only places happy runners go. 

This could still be a post race slump. I had two good runs last week a sub 28 5k and a sub 60 10k. They felt hard. And I don't feel like I do that enough. Like I'm improving. Does it really matter? I didn't used to care or compete over times. But maybe the running community sucks you in to caring too much. Perhaps that's one of its flaws. We're all at heart wanting to feel like we're winners. And when we can't. When we don't. We then just feel like failures. 

Life is busy at the moment. Lots of change. And I'm prone to times when I can be too hard on myself. But running was meant to be my release and it's starting to feel like my albatross. There will be a way out and a sunny side. I'm still working through the plan and I have a half marathon in just over a week. The addition of a new medal may help. And who knows perhaps Father Christmas will bring me a shiny new mo-jo all wrapped up in pretty paper and a ribbon? 

Half way there!

That's it I did it. I ran Royal Parks Half Marathon in 2 hours 8 minutes and 6 seconds. Not bad for my first go at 13.1 miles. I am now an official half marathon runner. Despite completely missing the Royal Albert Hall at mile 12 (even though photos prove it was right in front of me) I had a blast. 

That doesn't mean it was easy - it wasn't - I had to dig deep (thanks Dolly!!) at many points during the race. Mile 9-12 especially, there were new random pains, sore feet, crowded paths but all the time I focused on the job at hand. I remembered all the things my training taught me, I had motivation from all the support I've received (real and virtual), there were people shouting my name and there were amazing crowds. And there was Keeley. At miles 1, 6 and 9 - just as we'd planned. And wow what a difference that made. As it makes every day when I see Keeley - just as we planned.

Without doubt it was an amazing life affirming experience full of new friends, old friends and great tales to tell. 

But what next? I now know I can run 13.1 miles in a good time. My legs at the end told me I'm a long way off doubling that distance. The race also taught me that training is everything. I had rehearsed every inch of Royal Parks - and it paid off.  Now how to take that forward to my double marathon experience next April? 

The answer? Sit on the sofa for a while. It's been 25 days since my first half marathon. I've run 7 times. Once upon a time that ratio would have been pretty impressive. Now I feel fairly blurgh about the whole thing. I've rejoined weight watchers (having put on a stone in the last 7 months) and I'm doing my best to build up motivation - having rather rashly entered Ashford Half in just 3 weeks time. I'm sure all will be well. And after all I've written my double marathon training plan - I can build up slowly, there's loads of time. It'll be great. I'm Little Miss Positive aren't i? 

Aren't i? Perhaps I need to remember miles 9-12 and dig deep just a little bit more once again. Sometimes for no reason at all things aren't easy. And if they were - well I guess they wouldn't be worth having (isn't that a fridge magnet somewhere?) - my other blog - Wise-Words is the serious blog but actually this is about my marathon experience and face it, it's not all going to be laughs. Running is hard. It's hard to keep motivated. It's hard to get out there day after day, especially if work is long and draining.  It's hard to bounce back from disappointments, missed times, poor runs, unexplained crapness. And then it's hard to stop that creeping into your head. Bringing up all those negative thoughts you felt you had under control. 

But I'm Little Miss Positive. And I've got 5 months, 5 days, 10 hours, 54 minutes and 20 seconds  to find my mojo. I've got a shiny new plan. And I've got you. Yes YOU - goodness you didn't think you could just read this blog and give nothing back surely? Cause 26.2 miles x 2 in 14 days is a long way. And the journey to get there is even further - mentally and physically and I'm going to need more than just Keeley at miles 1, 6 and 9. So come on dust off those Pom-Poms real and virtual. This is where the hard work really begins! 

All change...

Well, this blog was going to be titled "I still believe in me" - referencing the Kids from Fame song. After a tough few weeks in my non-running life I was going to talk about my last long training run on my own, before Royal Parks. After weeks of long runs with friends, feeling good - all running together across the North Downs. Stopping for selfies, flower picking, recovery disguised as chatting - all making the fact I had run over 13 miles for the first time much easier. 


So on Sunday as I returned to my favourite solo route along the river, just the cows and walkers for company I felt great. I had my old running play list running through my head (a fabulous mix of 80s movie music) - no longer on headphones but ringing in my ears just the same. Wow, just how far have I come! New shoes already have 40k in them, no more gel mishaps and last week of my first ever training plan nearly complete. 

Everything is in place for Royal Parks Half Marathon. My first ever race over 13.1 miles. Feeling good. Feeling great. Who knew it would get even better? 

You see back in April I did something a little rash - without telling anyone (not even my partner) I entered the 2015 London Marathon ballot. The chances of being successful are so slim I figured may as well see what happens. With Brighton Marathon just two weeks before if a miracle should happen I'll just defer London and know that in 2016 I'll have a place. Well a miracle has happened. First time in the ballot. First time lucky. Two weeks after Brighton I'm supposed to run in London. 

Supposed to - oh go on, you know me by now. I'm SO going to run in London. After all reaching the 26 April and watching everyone set off without me - no chance. Besides with Brighton safely in the bag the pressure is off, I can enjoy myself. Think of it as a long run with friends, feeling good, stopping for selfies,  picking flowers even? Why not, what have I got to lose? 

On this crazy journey of mine - everything suddenly seems possible!



If you've read my blog and fancy offering support to my chosen Royal Parks charity Amnesty International please use the link at the top of the page or text JOFW99 £2 to 70070.