Sunday 17 May 2015

p.s what happened next...

So that was London, 3 weeks ago. And since then? It's not been easy. I knew it wouldn't be and I knew I'd be tired. But wow I had no idea just how tired.

So I've been resting. Recovering. I've run a little. I've stopped runs because my heart wasn't it. Hell, I ran a race - got a medal just last weekend. But I did begin to wonder - would I really get it back? I declared "no more marathons after Brighton and New York", which I meant. Sincerely. They're hard. Really hard. And it takes so much out of your life to train and run.

I haven't lost my mojo - my passion for running is as strong as ever. I just knew I needed rest. Lots of rest. Plenty of races entered for this year so lots to shoot for. But who knew 5k could feel so hard? Who knew legs could be so tired? And the mental battle you've been through - and for me twice, in two weeks.

And then this morning - with just a small group of my selfie running friends I thought I'd go back to one of my oldest running routes. The place I first did a long run, along the river - I went for run. Speed of chat pace, selfies and sunshine. We ran 10 miles and it felt great. I loved it. I loved it so much more than a 5k, or a 10k and I felt I could have run on. I felt like I was a distance runner. I feel like I've found my place in the running universe.

I don't care how fast I run. I don't care if I never run a marathon under 5 hours again. I don't care if I never run a 5k in 25 minutes. It doesn't upset or bother me if my 10k PB stays at 55 minutes until I can't run any more. What I love is the feeling of running with friends, of stopping for a selfie, of covering ground you've not covered before. Oh and I love a medal, the crowds cheering you on, the sense of accomplishment, of achievement, of knowing you had to reach places you didn't know you had. I realised today I want to run for the love of running. I've had enough things in my life that I have had to fight for and I don't want running to be another.

If I'm going to run it has to be for me and it has to be for fun.  So it will be.

The London Experience

Yes I know it was ages ago and why haven't I written about it before - well things have been busy. London was euphoric (I'll get to that in a minute) but since then, well once I could start walking again, life has kind of taken over. Turns out there is a lot to do when you aren't running, thinking about running, marking off runs on the training plan, talking about running, oh and did I mention running…..

So I'm sure you've all been dying to know "how was London"?  Nope you haven't, or actually you already know as I didn't stop talking about it on Twitter, or Facebook or at parkrun or SRC? Well then best stop the blog here. But how was it really? I mean after the euphoria has died down and I've had a chance to reflect? It was bloody amazing! 

Everything about the London marathon is amazing. Yes, I know it isn't the only marathon and there are plenty of amazing marathons. And yes for some people it won't be for them. But for me, it certainly felt like a once in a lifetime experience. We arrived in London on the Saturday and as our hotel was in St James we were able to pop down and see the finish area being set up, the tingles started then. Sunday morning getting up and walking through the empty streets of London to Charing Cross, dressed in a  borrowed CSI suit, it started to hit home what was happening. Blimey I haven't seen London at that time since my 20s and heading home from clubbing.

I reached Blackheath and there were so many people. We walked through the damp, dreary weather up to the famous start. I had my first catastrophe of the day - desperate for the toilet I entered the start area and rushed to the loo (no queues yet), but I'd missed running into DigDeepDolly. It was gutting. We texted and felt bad omens falling. "Dammit" I decided "this can't be", so against the oncoming traffic I snuck out of the entrance and looked around to find her, I needed that pre-race hug! The good news is we totally found each other and I wasn't hopping up and down doing a wee-wee dance. Our catch up did have to be paused to allow Dolly to do her important volunteer job, which meant painting ladders on the face and legs of a man running with a giant ladder….

Saying goodbye I headed back into the start. I had about an hour to kill before the off. This allowed for multiple toilet trips (the queues though long went fast, no sign of the infamous women's urinals though) and bumping in to a few other people I knew. Soon I was gathering at the very back of the blue start, pen 9 and expecting to wait a good 20 - 30 minutes after the official start time to cross the start. We never heard the 10am start, but after 10 minutes we started to move and to be honest we didn't stop - I was over the start in about 15 minutes and who was at the start screaming at me as I officially started the London Marathon - Dolly! Yep all was going very well so far.

This was it I was running the London Marathon. I'm not going to give you a blow by blow account of the race. You don't need that. I had changed my mindset for London. This one I was going to enjoy. I had a new nutrition routine. SIS gels every 45 minutes and then Cliff Shot Bloks in between. I was going to take everything offered to me (I did - jelly babies, oranges, jelly beans). On my wrist I had written motivational messages - REMEMBER LYDD (how to dig deep), Run Strong, Um Bongo! The aim was to run with head up, looking around, smiling, a steady pace of 7minute / KM at least for the first 13 miles, then see how I felt. It started just as I planned. Well for 2 miles, as then I suddenly thought "I need a wee!". This never happens to me and I'd joined the toilet queue FOUR TIMES at the start! But I decided what the hell, if you gotta go….so I stopped at toilets that didn't seem to have much of a queue. It didn't take long but I knew now that timing was not what this marathon was going to be about.

So I ran, I smiled and I ran. It was great as the early part of the marathon is through parts of London I used to live in - it was wonderful to know where I was. As we approached the heart of Greenwich I heard the first person shouting "Jo, Jo, JO!" in a way that is unmistakably someone you know (don't forget I run with my name on my shirt so lots of people shout "Jo"). It was Nick - our fabulous ultra running North Downs guide! This was to be the first of many people I saw on route. In fact I saw nearly everyone that I knew would be out watching. It was unbelievable, but oh so welcome. Just round the corner from Nick was the Cutty Sark - and yep I decided I would stop for a selfie. It was going to be this kind of day. The crowd loved it and cheered, so you know what? I turned round and took a selfie with them too! And then I started to run….

There were points along the route that I knew would be important - the Cutty Sark, Tower Bridge where all my Maidstone Harrier friends were marshaling and the fact it's Tower Bridge, 14 miles where some of my family were going to be, 19 miles where Run Mummy Run would be, entering the Embankment and seeing Big Ben in front of you and the top of the Mall - the finish line and where Keeley and our friend Serena were going to be in the grandstands.

Oh didn't I mention? Keeley was to have a blast on marathon day too as we were so lucky to get two VIP tickets which gave her a grandstand seat at the finish.

Approaching Tower Bridge was a special moment, I wasn't alone in whipping out my camera but I was alone in the zig-zag route I took across the bridge running from friend to friend for hellos and high fives, oh and a selfie stop with Denise Lewis!

Kicking on I knew it wouldn't be long until my next boost - this marathon thing was going great. Oh and pace - I was spot on. Those 7minute Ks were knocking themselves out a scary regularity. But I wasn't fooled. I knew how great I felt at 13 miles in Brighton and how it all went wrong. Keep going, run strong and take all those jelly babies offered. I was also feeling good as I'd past 3 rhinos and at mile 10 the man running dressed as testicles, so there was no shame to come from today! I was even more surprised when I caught up with Ivonne, my friend running as a Pink Lady apple - i genuinely thought the apple would beat me! But it was hotter than it seemed for us runners and I've no idea how she survived in that apple outfit! (I discovered you can't beat using the showers along the race route to cool down, even on a seemingly cool day)

As I ran along 13 miles I was frantically looking for my sister and nephew and there it was again "Jo, JO, JOOOOOO!!!" This time from across the opposite side of the road, where runners were returning! Yep they'd managed (with the help of a crowd of strangers) to get my attention - it was fabulous, banners and waves and off I ran….now to get to mile 19 and RMR.   Its hard to remember exactly but I think it was on the way to mile 19 that the blue 5 hour pacers caught me. I had been pacing perfectly and I had thought at 13/14 miles I would think about upping my pace if i felt okay. Well I was feeling great and I knew I was still on for 5 hours. When the pacers went by I decided to try and stick with them, after all 5 hours. But blimey they were going a fair pace. Looking at my watch they were at 6:45 pace. It just felt fast. Faster than I wanted to go. So, I let them go. I settled back and thought you know what, you're enjoying this run. You can keep 7m/k going for sure so don't change it. Let them go. This isn't about the time. This is about the experience. So I waved them off in my mind and fixed that smile back on my face.

Now parts of London are hard, the route isn't always glamorous but the crowds never disappear. Other than for the odd under-pass and even then they try and give you music and support. Entering Canary Wharf must feel like such a different experience for those who ran the marathon in the early days, no dank Isle of Dogs now but massive crowds and shiny buildings. But my eyes were peeled for one thing only. I was not going to miss my friends Shelley and Shona and all the RMR gang - especially as for me it was at 19 miles and beyond where it really fell apart at Brighton. These guys were going to see me through! And OH YES - they did. I won't say anything about what it felt like to spot them, see them, hug them. I think the photos just say it all. xxxx


So now, into the dreaded post 20 mile phase, but wait what is this - a quiet residential area and who is standing on the street corner, unexpectedly calling my name - my sister and nephew! Fabulous.
Another photo stop and some big hugs and yep on I ran.  I was still seeing people I knew, Gerry, Ange and the girls; Ed, Glyn and Shona - but I used all the support around me. Running past a gay pub I waved and blew kisses - pointing to the New Family Social rainbow colours on my shirt. Deeply proud I was running for such an amazing LGBT charity and making so much money for them. It made all the difference.

Soon I was heading back down towards Tower Hill and once again I saw my Harrier friends - James, Teresa and Robyn and I stopped for some selfies (well why not). At this point I was still all smiles and
Teresa turned to me and politely said "if you don't mind me saying so, you seem much better than you did at this point in Brighton"  -  oh yes, this was no Brighton and when I passed the 23 mile marker, that moment in Brighton when my wheels fell right off and Jules forged ahead. Well, goodness knows what they thought around me but with a positive fist pump and this time joy in my heart I cried out "Um Bongo!"

Its around Tower Hill that London really comes into it's own as you start to move into the Embankment the crowds grow, the views of the Thames are amazing and Big Ben looms ahead of you. It was amazing. But it was still a marathon. It was still hard, the body is still crying "STOP!" but your mind is saying, "run and smile, run and smile". I learnt at this point something I didn't realise in Brighton. Although my name was still being called it was a lot less than in Brighton at this point. Why? Well the crowd can see who is struggling, in Brighton I needed every cheer, "come on" and "Go Jo". In London it was those around me at this point that needed it more. A clever stats thing has told me that over the last 7.2km in London I passed 744 runners, only 88 passed me. This marathon was not going to break me.



And then I was turning toward Birdcage Walk and the finish was approaching. I started to count down the time till I would see Keeley. We had thought long and hard about the fact I wouldn't see her until the end. But this way I knew I was going to see her. She would be part of my finish. And I was going to finish and finish strong. As you pass under the 385 yards to go sign it is hard not to be overwhelmed. But I was fixed on the first grandstand on the left as I entered the Mall and then there they were!! Oh what a different sight would have beheld her than at Brighton, no hugs this time but smiles and cheers and waves and then on I ran…..to the finish.

35 years ago the first London Marathon men's race was won by Dick Beardsley and Inge Simonsen and as they approached the line they held hands - so for this anniversary year we had been asked to finish hand in hand - if we wanted. As the line approached, I turned to the runner next to me and asked him "do you want to finish hand in hand?" - so we did, triumphantly crossing the line together and he kindly stopped for a selfie just as we finished too! And that was it. I had run the London marathon in 5 hours 4 minutes and 3 seconds.

And do you know what? It was perfect and I'll never run the London Marathon again so thank you to everyone who made it a day I'll never forget.

(If you fancy you can watch more on You Tube of The London Experience)